The Life And Times of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Tetsui
Summary: The S.O.S. Brigades' unspoken adventures.
1. Episode 11

**The Life and Times Of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**I do not own Haruhi Suzumiya. Although, really, who wouldn't want to?**

**Author's Note:** To avoid confusion, well actually, that's one of the premises of this show so, I will tell you up front. This is probably going to be long, maybe not the chapters, but the story will be. Also, if you have any problems with my story, just comment and I will reply in the intermission chapters. Plus, this posting will reflect the anime showings, random, pointless, and totally crazy. And in the words of a certain person, that is all.

* *

**Episode 11: The Melancholy of Kyon Part 1**

Have you ever wondered about the existence of luck? Like, one day, you would be walking down the road, and find a bill worth 100,000 yen. Then on the way to put into a bank or what have you, a car drives by and splashes you with water, then, it starts to rain, and you without an umbrella. Then further down the road, a bicyclist knocks you over into the mud, and then you get mugged. But somehow, it turns out you still have that bill. Then, when you go to buy something with it, it turns out it's a counterfeit bill and you get arrested and thrown into jail.

That's how my first year in North High felt. Unfortunately, prison sounds bearable compared to the tortures of Haruhi Suzumiya. Of course, that was almost a year and a half ago. Now that school was back in session after the what seemed like a prolonged summer break after a certain …. "incident", yeah that sounds appropriate for what happened, I couldn't wait to get back and feel some monotony for once. Then I remembered Haruhi and instantly thought, "Oh, right, she doesn't know the definition of that word." Which effectively dampened my spirits.

"Yo, Kyon!"

I heard a familiar voice from behind me call. Oh, great.

"Hey, Taniguchi." I replied.

"Man, my summer was so boring! Sheesh. How 'bout you? Do anything interesting?"

Unfortunately.

"Not really. Just sat around and watched TV mostly."

"Did you get your summer homework done?"

Damn. I knew I had forgotten something.

"You didn't did you?"

"Shut up."

"Fine, fine. No reason to get angry at me."

When I reached the top of that hill I thought the usual, "When are they gonna build an escalator?"

"I know, right?"

I heard Taniguchi reply, me not fully realizing I had said that out loud. For some reason I decided to take a walk around the school, just to make sure everything was still their even though Nagato had assured me that it was, I just had to make sure.

I eventually wound up in my classroom and saw that Haruhi wasn't there yet.

Thank God, I could use a vacation from her. I sat down and waited for class to start. For some odd reason Haruhi didn't show up until after lunch, complaining of exhaustion.

Yeah, right, you were probably just looking for more mysteries.

"And what if I was?"

"Um, well, I don't want a reoccurred of the last case we took on."

"Don't worry, that won't happen again."

Easier said than done. After school, Haruhi ran out of the room like Hell was chasing her, which after this summer could be entirely possible, babbling on about something. I wasn't really listening,

When I got to the club room I saw the usual sight.

Nagato sitting in her chair reading a book, Mikuru was already in her maid outfit preparing tea, and Koizumi was sitting in a chair with that smug smile on his face. Okay, I guess one thing was out of the ordinary.

"Where's Tsuruya?"

"She has cleaning duty today," Mikuru answered.

"_Had_ cleaning room dutys!"

I heard from behind me. I turned around and saw the little ball of green energy that was Tsuruya. She dashed past me and started talking so fast that all I could make out was when she inadvertently slowed down and said a sentence ending with "-s" or "megas." I assumed she was talking some story about how she tricked someone into doing it for her.

"And that's what happened! Ooh, is the tea done yets?"

"Not yet. Almost."

"Okay!"

She then ran out of the room laughing to herself for some reason. Why Haruhi picked her I had no idea. Well, not really. I knew why. Because underneath that hyper girl personality there was a talented slider who had saved our butts a few weeks ago. That and the commercial.

She ran past the door still laughing to herself. At least I think she was talented.

I decided to skip beating Koizumi in Othello or bothering Nagato with the questions about the 'incident' still buzzing in my head and read a book. It was the same book that Nagato had lent me in the first year. I'd tried finishing it, but every time I did I got interrupted-.

"Tea's done."

"Oh boy!"

I nearly jumped out of my seat with that. Tsuruya had somehow ran back without me noticing. Or did she teleport? Either way.

Tsuruya got her tea and finally calmed down. Now it's time for some relax-.

"Alright everyone! I've got big news!"

Haruhi said when she busted down the door.

"This morning I was here and we were given a job!"

Knew it.

"It seems another person has gone missing."

Great, hope it isn't similar to the Camel Cricket or the Wolf Spider.

"It seems his name is-"

Bird call. Weird how every time we take on one of these cases that happens. Oh, well, I'm pretty sure everyone heard it.

"He's been missing for a few weeks now and his friends where worried about him. I told them we'd take care of it. Here's what he looks like."

She passed around a photo of the missing person.

Weird. I think I've seen him before, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

"And we'd better find him. They paid up front."

"You actually made them pay?"

"Of course. This isn't a charity, Kyon."

Of course not. If this was a charity, I'm a Celestial.

"We have his address, so it's time to move out!"

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Episode 7

**Author's Note:** I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya. If I did, the tenth novel would be out already and Tsuruya would be a slider. And Kunikida would be an esper.

**One Fine Day**

Well, summer had started a few days ago. The heat was completely unbearable. I didn't feel like doing anything except lying around the house and doing nothing. And that's exactly what I did. That is, until the obvious. My phone rang with a furious intensity, that loud foreboding ring tone I had set to go off every time Haruhi called. It made me feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out till she eventually would get bored.

But I knew that wouldn't happen so I picked up.

"Hey, Haruhi."

"How'd you know it was me?"

You don't want to know.

"Never mind. Come to the usual spot and bring money."

She actually expects me to be late. Isn't she a good friend?

"Why?"

"I'll explain when we're all there. We meet in an hour."

She hung up.

I guess I didn't have anything better to do because I found myself riding my bike in this miserable heat. I half wished I could go to the pool, but since what happened last summer, I didn't want to risk it. I pray to what God there is that that doesn't happen.

I didn't arrive last like Haruhi thought, I got there and saw Haruhi, Nagato, Tsuruya, and Mikuru standing. Looks like Koizumi's the late one today. Finally.

"Hey, guys."

I waved to them. I parked my bike in the parking garage. Wouldn't want it impounded again. I walked over and everyone kinda looked surprised.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Umm, no. It's just unexpected to see you here early, that's all," Mikuru answered.

We waited around in the air-conditioned cafe and made our orders. Koizumi arrived about half an hour after I did. Haruhi said he was late, but he was actually on time. But then again, this was Haruhi. He placed his order and ate while Haruhi explained that today we were going to be walking around again searching for mysteries.

No one seemed to really care. We split up into groups of three with the usual toothpick drawing. It was split between Koizumi, Nagato, and Mikuru on one team ,with Me, Haruhi, and Tsuruya in the other. I noticed that when I drew an unmarked toothpick Haruhi's eyes lighted up a bit. Oh no, what does she have planned? Our group searched the East side of town while everyone else searched the West.

Tsuruya being her hyper self went up to every other person asking about mysteries and effectively freaking people out. Haruhi thought that her enthusiasm was well above even her own.

"Now that's what a brigade member should be doing! You're a disappointment to the brigade, Kyon!"

I noticed that every now and then, Tsuruya pulled out her phone, pushed a few buttons, then put it back in her pocket. She's just probably texting or something.

After an hour or two went by, we all regrouped with results that left Haruhi in a bad mood. We ate again, then Haruhi made us draw toothpicks again. This time we were split into groups of two, Nagato and Koizumi, Haruhi and Mikuru, and Me and Tsuruya. I haven't had to worry as much about Mikuru since I did something that will never bee spoken of again, but the look Haruhi had just worried me.

We walked around a bit. Tsuruya seemed to have calmed down a bit and only approached a person every now and again. She seemed more focused on her phone than anything else.

"So, Tsuruya, what are you doing? Texting somebody?"

She didn't even look up.

"Not really."

"Oh, so what are you doing?" I don't think she heard me.

"Nothing too important."She said suddenly.

"Just checking-wait. WHAT! Kyon, ducks!"

She pushed me down as I saw something whiz by my head.

"What was that?!"

"A Multi-Dimensional Surveillance Unit. It can't kill ya, but it'd hurt pretty bad if it hit you."

"What are you talking about?"

She grabbed my arm and pressed the largest button on here phone and everything kind of stopped. Then, everything warped inside of itself. When I opened my eyes, (wait, when did I close them?) I saw a large expanse of sand. It was all to familiar.

"Um, Tsuruya?"

She wasn't paying attention to me. She was pushing buttons on her phone again. But when I looked closely, it wasn't a phone, but similar.

"Kyon, stand back."

A light came out of her phone and turned into a rather large gun.

Great, am I the only human in the SOS Brigade?! An explosion blew sand away from an area in the expanse. Tsuruya put the phone to her mouth and started talking. She had a dead serious face and I could only make a few words she was saying.

"Dimensional...U-125 S-...Taking immediate action."

She held up her gun and started firing into the sand.

Something shot out of the sand and latched onto her gun and pulled it into the sand.

"Great, it's one of these."

She materialized another gun and continued firing. After about seven rounds the entire creature jumped. My first thought was, 'That's a big spider.' It landed right in front of my face.

"Get away from him, megas!"

I turned my head and saw Tsuruya had a large bazooka. Wait, a bazooka?

"No don't-!"

"Fire!"

The missile hit that spider so hard, that I got thwacked by one of its' legs and tossed about 20 yards away before I knew what was happening.

I must have passed out, because when I opened my eyes, we were both sitting on a bench in that park.

"Oh, good. You're awake." I looked over and saw Tsuruya with that same big smile on her face.

It took me a second, but then I remembered what just happened. I didn't freak out, I've seen way worse since I'd entered high school.

"So, Tsuruya, what are you?"

"What am I?"

"Y'know, what faction are you with?"

"Well, I guess the most appropriates word is slider."

"Perfect."

"Perfect?"

"Yeah, I kinda had a feeling I would meet one since Haruhi mentioned them. Now I have. Perfect. If Haruhi ever figures out what's going on around her, she'll be ecstatic."

A moment of silence was shared, which was rare for Tsuruya.

"So, why are your people interested in Haruhi?"

"Suzumiya? Why would we be interested in her?"

"Because she's some sort of omnipotent being or something like that."

"Really? No, I didn't know that."

......…...WHAT?!!!!

"You really didn't know?! Then why are you part of this crazy club?!"

"Because it's funs!"

Oh, dear god she's an idiot.

"You're a slider, right?"

"Technically."

"And you aren't watching her?"

"Nopes."

"So your group doesn't have any interest in her?"

"What group?"

…...

"You're not a part of a group?"

"Uh-uh."

"Well, that was unexpected."

"But, Kyon, you helped me be a slider."

"Huh?"

"Oh, never mind."

"Whatever."

My phone rang that same ominous ring tone and I knew to get back. I didn't pick up, I just got up and started walking. Tsuruya got up and followed me and, surprisingly, looked tired. The end of the world must be coming. Later on, I'd probably regret those words.

When we got back Haruhi was still yelling into her phone, probably leaving me a long and annoying message that will give me a migraine.

"YOU'RE LATE!!!"

Oh, crap.

When we got to the cafe Haruhi tore me a new one. We wound up being an hour late, which I thought an overreaction to it, but it's Haruhi. I asked her if she found anything, but she just responded with a scowl. However, on the first trip around town, we did get one job, which I thought was a miracle in and of itself.

Later that week, we wound up working at some sort of cosplay cafe. Let's just say, that that's another story for another day.

**End of Episode 7**


	3. Episode 1

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is going to be an awesome and scary chapter! I'm going to explain why I'm having Kyon call Mikuru by her first name. Enjoy!

**Kyon's Stand**

Well, Spring is here and it seems like the daily hike is a little bit easier with the weather like it is. But something felt kind of off. I'm not sure what, though. It's probably my imagination. I guess it's not to much to ask for such mediocrity every now and then, right?

"Yo, Kyon!"

Taniguchi slaps the back of my head with his greeting, as usual.

"Hey, Taniguchi."

"Did you get your summer homework done?"

"Summer homework? It's not summer yet."

"Oh, right. My bad. It kinda feels like it though."

"Not really."

"Whatever. See ya in the classroom!"

He runs off. That was weird.

Putting that previous conversation out of my mind I head to the room. The days seem to drag on forever nowadays, so I guess I could see where Taniguchi was coming from. When the bell rang I heard Haruhi jolt out her desk without saying a word. She must have something to do today.

When I got done with my lunch I headed to the clubroom as usual. I looked up and saw that the old Literature Club sign was gone and replaced with an actual S.O.S. Brigade sign. That must be what Haruhi was doing. Oh, well. It's not like it really matters.

I knocked twice an heard Asahina-san answer with her friendly "Come in."

I went inside and saw that only she and Nagato were present.

"Where's Haruhi?"

"She hasn't come by yet."

"Then who hanged that sign?"

Nagato looked up a sign of recognition before turning back to her book. So it was her.

I sat down and pulled out the old set of Othello. I figured Koizumi would be here any moment-.

"Hello."

That same faux-cheerful voice reverberated around the room.

"Oh, it seems you pulled out Othello. Would you like to play?"

That's why I got it out. We played a few rounds as Asahina-san poured us tea and watched. Of course I won, again, but it seemed harder to win than usual.

"Are you getting better?" I asked him.

"Hmm, I guess so." Damn snide smile.

At that time I expected Haruhi to bust in with some crazy assignment or something-

"Hey, everyone!"

Right on cue.

"I've got a new costume for Mikuru!"

Not again. She ran over to her, placed the bag on the floor and pulled out the contents and laid them on the table, it seemed to be a catgirl outfit. She then proceeded to start undressing her. Asahina-san looked dead at me with those big eyes and something snapped.

"This is so much fun!" Haruhi said.

Stop.

"Quit whining."

Stop it.

I heard Asahina-san scream.

STOP IT!

"HARUHI!"

"What-?"

The sound I heard next was the most horrifying sound I'll ever hear in my life.

SMACK *

I open my eyes and see that Asahina-san was sprawled on the floor and everyone is looking at me.

Koizumi looked as if he was going to yell at me, and Nagato had stood up and allowed her book to fall.

Her face was in a clearly noticeable 'Dear God what have you done' look. I then noticed why.

I had just slapped Haruhi Suzumiya.

She had the same shocked look as everyone else.

It was dead quiet.

You could hear a cricket chirp if it wasn't afraid of what might happen if it did.

She is going to kill me. Well ,might as well say something.

"You need to stop messing with her."

The words that came out of my mouth surprised me.

"She is a human being like you and me and everyone else, so stop doing this!"

Yeah she's definitely going to kill me.

"Stop, or I'll-I'll-I'll quit the club!"

That was the final nail in my coffin. All I could do was wait for the inevitable-.

"Okay."

That nearly made me fall backwards. Did she just say 'Okay'?

"I'll stop. I promise."

I think I hit her a little too hard.

"I'm sorry Kyon. I'm sorry Mikuru."

That utterly amazed me. I figured I would have been erased from existence or something.

"But if you ever do that again, you're dead!"

There it is. The old Haruhi is back now, no need to worry.

I turn around and reach out my hand to pick Asahina-san up.

"Are you okay, Asa- no, Mikuru?"

"Umm. Yes. I'm fine."

I help her up and turn back to Haruhi. Or, at least where she was standing until a moment ago. She had apparently ran out of the room.

I looked at the floor and saw small wet spots. She had started crying.

Oh God.

I ran after her as fast as I could. I didn't really know where to look but I had a feeling.

I went to the tree on campus. Sure enough, she was there, curled in a ball and weeping her heart out.

I walked over and stopped short of the shade. She must have noticed I was there because she asked me, "What do you want?"

I tried to say something, anything, to make her stop crying. I could only say one thing.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

She was standing now trying her hardest to not break down again.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

She said this with her sincere voice.

"It was my fault. It was me who was always doing that to Mikuru. You tried to stop me on multiple occasions, but I didn't think anything of it. If anything it should be me who should be sorry."

Haruhi.

"So, I'm sorry, Kyon. For everything."

She then did a deep bow.

"But,"

Here we go.

"Since you stood up for her, I'm putting you in charge of her!"

Wait, what?!

"She's your responsibility now!"

HUH?!

"I'll have to consult you before giving Mikuru more outfits, but that's only slightly troublesome."

Wait,wait,wait,wait, could you repeat that?!

"C'mon, let's get back to the clubroom!"

She ran off again with her normal energy. Well, at least I did something good for today.

I think.

**End of Episode 1**


	4. Episode 2

* * *

**Author's Note:** * insane laughing * I'm still giddy from writing that last chapter. Also, I do not condone violence against anime characters. Unless it's utterly awesome. And now this.

**A New Member!**

I woke up that morning with a sense of dread. Not sure why exactly, but it was there.

It was Sunday and Haruhi hadn't bothered anyone, so I guess that was good.

I was still looking over my shoulder because of what had happened a few days ago. I was a little paranoid, thinking Haruhi would appear with a knife and attack me, but she had forgiven me so I guess that helped a bit.

After eating breakfast I turned on the TV. Nothing interesting,really, just bored viewing.

Then I saw it.

It was during a commercial break. It switched to a strange commercial full of lasers, aliens, UFOs, and explosions. After that, an image appeared on the screen. I nearly choked on the water I was drinking. It was **that** image. I then heard someone talking.

"SOS Brigade. Saving the world everyday."

….....I didn't know what to say. I had just seen a commercial. For the SOS Brigade. I think the last shred of sanity I had left just left.

Haruhi, what have you done?

I then heard that foreboding ring tone. I picked up.

"Were you watching?!"

It was Haruhi.

"Um, yeah. How did you get enough money to put on a full commercial?"

"I didn't."

"Then who did?"

"I thought it was you."

Why would I do something like that?

"So it wasn't you?"

"No! A)How would I? B)How would I be able to keep it a secret from anybody? And C)Where would I get the money?"

"Good point. Hmm, curious."

She hung up then. Sigh. Whoever did this must be as insane as Haruhi herself. I mostly spent the rest of the day in a daze.

I tried to get to sleep that night, but every time I closed my eyes I saw that damn logo. I couldn't get to sleep so I started watching TV again. I saw that commercial seven or eight more times before passing out.

The next day, I got to our classroom. Haruhi was pacing. Not a good sign. I passed her and heard her muttering, "Who did it? Who did it?"

I sat down and waited for class to start. I didn't get much sleep so I rested my eyes for a moment.

I woke to the sound of the bell. The lunch bell.

That and Haruhi smacking on the head. "Wake up!"

"Ow!"

I grabbed the back of my head.

"Couldn't you shake someone awake instead of smacking them?"

"Whatever. C'mon, let's go."

She walked out of the room and I followed. She didn't talk the entire time, so this whole commercial deal must be messing with her pretty badly.

When we got to the club room, Nagato looked up from her book, saw it was us, and continued reading.

Also, someone was sitting in Haruhi's space at the computer.

It was Tsuruya.

"What are you doing here?"

"Did you guys sees it?"

"See what?"

"The commercial!"

It took me a second to put two and two together.

"You made that commercial?!"

"Uh-huh! Wasn't is just so cools?!"

Oh yeah, I forgot, Tsuruya happens to be filthy rich.

"You made the commercial?" It was Haruhi who asked this time.

"Yep! I thought it would be good, um what do you calls it, oh yeah, PR!"

Oh dear god, she's crazy. The last thing this club needs is-

"Good idea!"

I turned to Haruhi. Idea?

"By making the commercial, it'll just make it that much easier to find mysteries and the like!"

Sigh. Thank you, Tsuruya. You just made my job harder. There's no stopping her now.

Hang on a sec.

"Wait, how is a commercial going to make it easier to find mysteries?"

"It'll make people approach us with them, instead of us looking for them."

"Does that mean no more weekend hunts?"

"Of course not!"

Damn.

"We'll still look, but it'll be easier. Especially with another member!"

"Another member?"

"Yep! Tsuruya, by the power of the SOS Brigade, I promote you to secretary of treasury!"

Doesn't that mean she'll just be paying for everything?

"Not everything. Just important things. You'll still pay for our hunt meals."

Great, I thought I was off the hook for a second there. Hey, wait a minute. What if I'm not late?

All this time we were talking, Tsuruya, being the hyper ball of green energy that she is, was jumping up and down screaming 'Hurray!'

After that, she pulled out a large supply of banners and fliers from the supply closet. Had she planned this?

We spent the rest of lunch break putting said fliers and banners all around the every now and then, I heard people snickering at us as we paraded around the school.

Damn you Tsuruya.

I didn't get to eat my lunch.

Mikuru and Koizumi didn't show up that day.

**End of Episode 2**


	5. Episode 8

**Author's Note:** Sorry for taking so long to update. I've had a spot of writer's block trying to start up the "incident" just right. And now I have my plans. Enjoy!! :p

* *

**Episode 8**

**The Beginning of The End**

A few days had passed by since I had become aware that Tsuruya was a slider. Of course, this hadn't surprised me in the least. At least until she fired at me with a bazooka. Yeah, that was lame.

Anyway, I'm getting away from my point. On that day, said ball of green energy had convinced a local cafe to let us work there. Not sure how this relates to mysteries but, okay.

"C'mon Kyon!"

I heard the every energetic Haruhi Suzumiya call to me. Oh yeah, there was one thing I forgot to mention.

It's a cosplay cafe. How I despise them. I've got nothing against people who do cosplay, don't get me wrong. It's just the idea of running something like that in public should be a little embarrassing right? Have you people no shame?

Of course, I can't really be talking since I for some reason agreed.

I didn't want to get up this morning because I knew what my fate for the day was, and was late. Again.

"Late! Penalty!"

Yeah, yeah. So, I have to pay for the cafe again. So what?

"Not just the cafe!"

Damn.

"When we get there, you get the worst job."

Uh oh.

"Chef."

That's what the clerk at the cafe had told us was the worst job. And he was not lying.

I already can't cook very well, and since the people who came in that day were so uppity and picky, I repeatedly had to remake over and over again the same meal. And everyone ordered the same thing.

I'm pretty sure that if later in life anyone asks me if I can make something called "Hinamizawa Rice Balls" I would make some that would cause their mouths to melt from the sheer amount of hot sauce in it.

At the end of that day, when the Manager said we were off, I was expecting a pay check. I was wrong.

Instead, we got to keep one of the costumes worn today.

Haruhi, I'm going to kill you.

* *

The next day was Sunday, and Haruhi must have been tired or something, because her ringtone didn't go off all day. Of course, another one did.

About an hour later I was waiting, sitting in that bench in that park from quite some time ago.

How did she get my cell number? That's what I kept asking myself until she finally arrived.

"Sorry for making you wait, Kyon."

I turned around and saw that the girl who I used to go to middle school with walked up.

"It's okay. I haven't been here too long."

"Oh."

A silent moment passed. Which for Sasaki was rare.

"So why did you call me out here?"

"Um."

Some thing's different about her. She usually acts on Haruhi-level energy. But today, she looks drained.

"Lately, something weird has been happening."

"What do you mean 'weird'?"

"Like, I feel like someone's following me."

"Like a stalker?"

"No. Different from that. I feel someone boring their eyes into the back of my head, but when I turn around, no one's there."

"Aren't you being a tad bit paranoid?"

"No, I know this isn't in my head."

"Okay, I still don't see how this pertains to your summons."

Another moment of silence.

"Do you think you could just stick around me today? Like, look for anybody that looks suspicious?"

Wouldn't I look suspicious following you around?

"Please!"

I saw a look of great fear in her eyes. I knew I had to help her.

"Sure."

"Oh, thank you Kyon!"

She actually ran up and hugged me. Then she stepped back. That was a bit awkward.

"C'mon, let's go."

So, I proceeded to follow Sasaki around all day. It turned out that she had plans with friends at the mall. Oh well, a promise is a promise.

* *

Around lunchtime she found me and walked over.

"Have you seen anybody yet?"

"Nothing really. Just usual mall people. I got a few strange looks though."

"Oh, sorry about that."

She still looks frightened, but less so.

"Well, me and my friends are going to start eating. Wanna come with?"

"No, I'm good."

"Okay, well, I'm gonna head home after eating, so after you're done, you can go."

And there's the Haruhi-esque tone.

She walks away and I get something to eat.

* *

On the way home I hear my phone ring again. I had programmed Sasaki into my phone thinkig I might still be of use. I answered.

"Kyon!"

She had a terrified tone in her voice.

"Sasaki, what's wrong?!"

"I think they're here. I'm at the drug store, please hurry!"

She hung up and I started running. I had picked up some drinks for later, but dropped the bag and heard them shatter. That wasn't important now though.

Luckily, the drug store wasn't very far away and got there quickly. When I did, I saw that Sasaki wasn't being paranoid. Three men were surrounding her.

"Hey! Get away from her!"

I tried to take out the closest one of them, but got hit in the stomach instead. I fell to my knees and toppled over.

"Kyon!"

I looked over at Sasaki as she jumped and kicked one of the guys in the head. That really hurts my pride.

When she lands they grab her. I try to get up, but one of them kicks me in the stomach again. A black van pulls up and the men get in and throw Sasaki in.

"Kyon!"

I hear as the doors close and the van squeals away. I black out.

**End of Episode 8  
**

**Author's Note:** And that's the start of the incident. It's a lot more complicated than it looks at the moment. The next few chapters will pay witness to the incident and the effects of it. Until then.


	6. Episode 9

**Author's Note:** I recently looked back at previous chapters and realized I had left some discrepancies and went back and made some emendations. In lamen's terms, I screwed up and fixed some things. So previous chapters have new content that I didn't add because most of what I come up with comes right from my brain fluff. Yes, that's a Psychonauts reference. Anyway, I'm rambling, Enjoy!.

* *

**Chapter 9: The Beginning of The End Part 2**

Beep beep.

Weird Noise.

Beep beep.

What is that?

" * mumble * up."

Huh? What was that?

" * mumble * up, Kyon."

Who's talking?

"Wake up."

I lurch forward and find myself in a hospital bed. Great, not again. Don't tell me all that was a dream.

"No, Kyon. It was a very real situation."

I turn and see Koizumi sitting in a nearby chair.

"Was that you talking to me?"

"Talking to you? No one was saying a word."

"Where am I?"

"A hospital of course. That's where a person goes when they suffer a punctured lung."

"Punctured lung? I didn't think those guys beat me up that badly."

Then a light went off in my head.

"Sasaki?! Where is she? Do you know if she's okay?"

"No, unfortunately, we have been unable to find her."

Perfect, here she wanted my help and I totally failed her. Good job, Kyon.

Then Koizumi said something I really didn't need to hear.

"We have also lost contact with Suzumiya-san."

"Don't tell me."

"We believe she has also been kidnapped."

Well, that's not good.

"No, no it isn't."

For once, Koizumi was not smiling.

"We believe that-."

"Let me guess, because Sasaki and Haruhi have both been kidnapped at the same time, you're group has assumed that your enemies are making their move. Right?"

"Exactly."

Sometimes, Koizumi, I want to punch you.

"So what are we going to do?"

"We are unable to do anything."

…...WHAT?!

"But you guys are supposed to be an all-powerful corporation that can do anything it wants!"

"Is that how you see us? That couldn't be farther from the truth. But the situation is that we have actually located them both."

I then stood up and got out of bed.

"Then what are we waiting for?! Let's get everyone and-!"

"They are in a Closed Space of Sasaki's making."

This made me fall backwards. This was a problem because a few months ago I found out that no one could enter Sasaki's Closed Space unless she wanted them to.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"That's where the problems start. You can come in now!"

The door to the room and someone came in. Damn. Not him. Anyone but him!

"Ah, what's up?"

The person who entered said with that evil little sneer of his.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

It took all my strength to not get up and punch that Sneering Bastard in his face.

"He has offered us his help."

"Help?! What could he possibly help us with?!"

"I can get you into Sasaki's Closed Space."

….Damn. I may not trust him, but I've seen him do things much less plausible.

"So wait, You're not behind these kidnappings?"

"No. I may have similar goals as those other two, but not all of them."

"So it's the other two who are behind this."

"Pretty much."

"And why aren't you with them."

"Because this event never actually happened."

Huh?

"In the future I come from, this is not the time that Suzumiya was taken. The details are sketchy, but I follow the orders I'm given. And I was told to help."

"And how can we trust you?"

"You can't. And shouldn't."

"That's enough you two."

I turned toward the door and saw Mikuru and Nagato had entered the room. When had they gotten here?

"I don't like it either Kyon, but if he's willing to help, I say we take it." Mikuru said with a new found confidence I had never heard before.

Everyone was dead silent. Finally, the Sneering Bastard said something.

"So the Princess has a backbone after all. Who would've guessed. Alright, if there are no more objections, let's get going."

Everyone follows him out of the building and to an area near the cafe we always went to and stopped. He turned toward us.

"I'm gonna make an opening now. If there are any cry babies here, leave now."

No one budged.

"Alright then. Everyone, take hands."

We all grabbed the hand of the closest person next to us and started walking.

I then remembered something. This would be the first time I saw someone enter a Closed Space with out closing my eyes first. It was the Sneering Bastard who went through first, and he just kinda disappeared. Next was Koizumi, Nagato and then Mikuru, with me heading the back. Going through felt the same as always, really cold.

* *

I stopped walking when I saw the sun. That weird white sun that shined down on Sasaki's Closed Space. I don't think it was this bright the last time I was here though.

"I detect three abnormalities in the space." Nagato said. Is that the only time she's said anything today?

"That would be them." The Sneering Bastard said with that smirk of his.

"Wait."

I suddenly had a thought.

"I thought only Espers could enter and exit a Closed Space without assistance. So how can he?"

Everyone was quiet. Then the laughter started. That creepy slow laughter.

"Whoops. Guess I didn't think things through well enough. Oh well. None of that matters now. You're trapped. Now!"

I then blacked out.

* *

I suddenly woke up with a massive headache. I was chained to a wall in a large room. I looked around and saw that the others were chained up too.

"So gullible. I expected more from you, Kyon."

Someone said with an almost disappointed tone to their voice.

"Oh well, I guess everything comes to those who wait."

Out of the shadows came Kyoko Tachibana.

"I knew it. I knew I couldn't trust him."

"No, no you couldn't. That was probably the most surprising part of this trap. Oh well.."

"I won't let you do this. I'll stop you!"

"No, you won't. Our plan is almost complete, and the final factor would be well, you."

"What?"

"You'll understand shortly."

She then walked away, back into the shadows.

"Get back here!"

She must have flipped a switch because light instantly flooded the room. I wished it hadn't. I then saw what was a very bad sign.

Haruhi and Sasaki were also chained the wall across from us.

I looked to where everyone else was chained hoping that one of them was awake so I could have some chance of survival. I didn't.

"And now for your participation."

My chains suddenly snapped and I fell to the ground and somehow landed on my feet. Then I heard something slide across the ground. It his my fet and I looked down. It was a gun.

"Pick it up."

I suddenyl started to move against my own will and picked up the gun. What the hell?

"Move."

I walked to about five feet away from Haruhi. I turned and saw Kyoko standing nearby.

"Now for our plan to come to fruition."

She snapped her fingers and everyone in that room woke up. I knew this because I heard a yell from behind me. It was Mikuru, probably from the sight of me with a gun.

Kyoko then walked up to me.

"Now Kyon. Shoot her."

"What?"

This was siad by everyone in the room, including me.

"You heard me. Shoot Haruhi Suzumiya. Now."

"No."

"You don't have a choice in the matter."

I noticed my arm was slowly moving and aiming the gun at Haruhi.

"Kyon, stop!" I heard her say.

"You don't have to to do this!"

"But he does. My power is to make other people do whatever I want them to. And he will do this."

When my arm straightened out, I heard multiple protests against what I had no control over. From Koizumi it was a varient between, "Stop this now!" and "What are you doing?!", I heard nothing from Nagato, but could feel her giving me a pleading look in the back of my head, I only heard Mikuru crying, and Sasaki wouldn't stop yelling.

But Haruhi didn't say a word. She was too frightened. She was visibly trembling.

"What are you waiting for?" Kyoko said. "Do it now!"

"Please don't do this Kyon!" Sasaki screamed.

"Will you just shut up?!"

Kyoko snapped her fingers and everyone fell back to sleep. Except me and Haruhi.

"That's better. Now cock the gun."

As my thumb moved and pulled back the hammer, I looked up and saw that Haruhi was crying and muttering to herself.

"This isn't happening. This can't be real. Kyon would never do this."

"Now then. Pull the trigger."

"Did what happened at the castle mean nothing to you?!" Haruhi screamed.

Bump bump

Bump bump

Bump bump

My finger pulled the trigger.

BANG!!!!

**End of Episode 9**

**Author's Note:** * insert maniacal laughter * I love cliffhangers! Now you must suffer until I update! * more maniacal laughter * Til next time~.


	7. Episode 10

**Author's Note:** Here it is! The final chapter of the 'incident.' All will be revealed! Except for the stuff not revealed. … Shut up. Go!

* *

**Chapter 10: The Beginning of the End Part 3**

BANG!

"AH!"

I opened my eyes and saw that I had just barely missed Haruhi. Thank God.

"Hmm. You have more will than I thought." I heard Kyoko say. "Oh, well. Your part's done."

She snapped her fingers and I fell to the floor, unable to get up.

"Kuyo!" Kyoko yelled into the shadows.

Out of the shadows, the girl who resembled a doll more than Nagato, Kuyo Suo caame and stopped near the two girls chained to the wall.

"Begin the process."

"___________Right______"

"Now, Kyon, watch this."

Kyoko walked over to Haruhi, still trembling, and whispered something in her ear.

"No. That's not true! It can't be!"

Kuyo walked between Haruhi and Sasaki and placed one of her hands on either's shoulders. You could hear her talking in a fast pace similar to when Nagato used her bogus magic. At that point, both Haruhi and Sasaki, who had woken up after the shot, fell into a trance-like state.

I tried getting up, but my body wouldn't move the way I wanted it to. I then heard a shatter. I tried to turn my head to see what had happened, but couldn't. I saw a blur run past me and tackle Kyoko. I could get up then. I got on my knees and saw who it was.

"You shall not harm Haruhi Suzumiya." I heard in that monotone voice.

Nagato had broken free.

"_______Transfer__________38%______"

Nagato spread her hands in front of her.

"Requesting termination...not compatible...deletion data downloaded."

She went in for a kick, but then someone came and blocked and sent her flying backwards. It was the Sneering Bastard.

Suddenly, someone placed their hand on my shoulder. It was Koizumi. He had his serious face on.

"You might want to try and hide."

He manifested his powers into the forms of fireballs.

"Now."

I scrambled out of the way just in time to miss becoming barbequed.

"Fumoffu!"

He launched one of his fireballs at the Sneering Bastard, it missed, but it got him away from the others.

"Nagato! Take her out anyway possible!"

"Understood."

She rushed forward with that tremendous speed of hers to only stop at what seemed like a forcefield. It wasn't much though. After a few seconds, Nagato broke through and stopped Kuyo with a punch to the face.

The punch made her stagger.

"__________Transfer________Compromised________Eliminate____"

She targeted Nagato now and gave chase. Now was my chance. When Nagato and the others had their chains broken, so had Haruhi and Sasaki. I ran as fast as I could with the crazyness that was going on around me.

I got to them and tried to get them out of there, but for some reason I couldn't move.

"Ohohohoho~ Honestly Kyon, did you think you could just waltz right in?"

It was Kyoko.

"Now I may put on the nice girl act a lot, but I'm actually very cruel. Watch!"

She snapped her fingers and suddenly, I couldn't breath. I fell to the ground, struggling for air.

Kyoko walked to where I could see her, and I saw her right side was covered in blood.

"Ya see Kyon, the main reason we needed you because of your ties to Suzumiya-san. _You_ are the only reason, she even let's this world exist for another minute! But of course, for our plan to work, we needed you to something that would make her lose her trust in you."

"She loosened the invisible grip she had on my lungs and it could just barely breath.

"Ya see, I told her something you don't know."

She leaned next to me.

"I gave you the gun, I told you to shoot, but I didn't make you shoot at her."

What?!

"For our plan to work, _you_ had to be the one to do that. To do something that would make her lose all her trust in you. You must really hate her. I let go of you right when I told you to cock the gun. _You_ pulled the trigger, Kyon. _You_ tried to kill Haruhi Suzumiya."

"That's...not...true...!" I struggled to say.

"But it is! And that's the beautiful part! Now, she has nothing to be here for! Now Sasaki, the true God of this world, can take her place! Ahahahahahahahaha! Thank you Kyon! I always knew you'd do it. Now that the process has started, it can't be stopped! We won! We won!"

"No. You did not."

"Huh?"

Nagato was standing behind Kyoko, said some of her bogus magic, and a lightening bolt shot from her hand and hit Kyoko in the head.

"AHHH!"

She flew across the room. The grip fully released itself on my lungs and I could breath again. Nagato helped me up. At that point, a large rumbling went though the building.

"What was that?!"

"Haruhi Suzumiya has become unstable."

"Unstable?"

"Yes. In her unconscious state, she is destroying the world outside this world."

"What?!"

Everyone else walked over.

"What's going on?" Mikuru asked.

"That's easy, the end of the world." I answered.

At that, she just started. But it wasn't a normal stare. It was a vacant stare. She started to fade.

"Mikuru! Nagato, what's going on?!"

"The future she comes from no longer exists, therefor, she is ceasing to exist as well."

"No!"

At this point, she was almost gone.

"K-kyon..."

At that, she disappeared. Everyone felt a deep sadness at that. But still, even though they didn't want to, they had more pressing matters to tend to. They had to stop Haruhi.

Kyon ran to the collapsed body of Haruhi and started shaking her.

"Haruhi! Wake up! Wake up dammit!"

"It is no use."

Kyon turned to Nagato.

"What can we do?! Nagato, you always have the answers, tell me what to do!"

"You already know."

Know? What do I know?

It sounded like a hurricane outside. The top of the building they were in was ripped off, giving them full view of the sky above. It was a sort of thing you would expect to see in a lava lamp. There were two skies, the bright one of Sasaki's Closed Space, and the grey one of Haruhi's space.

Things inside the building slowly disintegrated.

What do I know? Think, man, think! Wait! Could that be it? Is it?

"Nagato, do you mean?"

"Yes."

That was all I needed to now.

I leaned down to Haruhi and you my ace.

"Haruhi, I am John Smith."

Haruhi opened her eyes wide open, clearly out of her trance and took a large breath.

"Kyon..."

Suddenly, everything stopped. The closed Space around started to crack, like Haruhi's did when Koizumi and his esper boys defeated a Celestial. Then it shattered.

* *

Darkness. That's the first thing I saw.

It was nice.

It was clam.

It was good.

"Kyon..."

Who's there?

Go away.

I like the darkness.

"Kyon...wake up..."

Go away.

Five more minutes.

"Kyon...open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and saw Haruhi, leaning over me like the first time I was in Closed Space with her.

"Kyon, where are we?"

I sit straight up and see everyone either standing or on the ground. Even the R.I.P. Cartel was there, of course they were unconscious.

We were on top of the building Koizumi showed me his powers at what seemed like an eternity ago. But that was it. On all sides, there was nothing but darkness.

Crap.

"Kyon."

I turned to Haruhi.

"Are you really...?

She started to say when she fainted. Nagato was behind her with her palm spread out.

"Haruhi Suzumiya can not remember this. It is for her own well-being. I will begin a reboot for this sector."

"What does that mean?"

"It will reform the world and Haruhi Suzumiya will remember nothing of this. Do you comply?"

Um...

"Yeah, that's probably best."

"Commencing reboot..."

A flash of light. The next thing I know, I'm falling out of my bed. Oww.

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

I picked up my phone.

"Hello?"

"..."

"Nagato?"

"Correct."

"So, did it work?"

"Affirmative. All world data has been restored, and Haruhi Suzumiya's memory of the incident have been removed."

"So all's right with the world?"

"Yes."

"Cool. Thanks Nagato."

"No thanks are necessary. This was simply the fastest course of renewal."

"Whatever. Well, after what just happened, I could use some rest. Night."

"Good night, Kyon."

At that she hung up.

I stood there partially stunned. That was the first time she'd used my nickname.

* *

The rest of the summer was pretty uneventful. Haruhi didn't bother anyone for the last few weeks of summer, me and the other members met up a few times though.

"So, Koizumi, what exactly happened to the R.I.P. Cartel."

"They were apprehended by my associates and have since been kept in a special facility where they can't harm anyone. Though there is one interesting factor to this though."

"What's that?"

"Kyoko Tachibana lost her memory. Most likely from the shock delivered by Nagato-san."

"And why is that interesting?"

"Well, not as much interesting, as troublesome. You see, the higher=ups saw that I would be the most fit to watch over her."

"Well, that sucks."

"Yes, it does indeed. But, they have also decided it most fit for her to enroll in our school."

…

"Yeah, that _does_ suck."

"Yeah..."

* *

I met up with Mikuru after that, just to make sure everything was all right. She seemed back to gher regular nervous self..She told me she doesn't want to talk about the what we're calling the 'incident' ever again. I agreed.

* *

I also met up with Nagato. We went to the library and the entire time she basically answered some of my questions about what had happened. I don't know what it was, but she seemed more, I don't know, frightened by what happened, and that truly scared me.

But, she said nothing was wrong, so I didn't worry.

On thhe last day of break, August 31, I noticed, the entire break, I hadn't touched my homework.

…

…

…

Damn.

**End of Episode 10**

**Author's Note:** And there you have it! After this I will be filling in the 4 or so episodes I haven't worked on. Two of them will be their trip! Til then~


	8. Episode 6

**A Melancholic Day**

It's still Spring, and I think I officially hit my limit.

Why, you ask?

If you've been paying attention, you would know.

It has to do with a certain esper who would smile at a polar bear about to tear his head off, a certain bookwormish alien, a certain green ball of energy who knows more than she lets on, and a certain time traveler who may not be as ditzy as you would think. But it mostly is about a certain girl who could make a serial killer curl up into a ball and cry themselves crazy.

But that's beside the point.

The thing bothering me today was that the commercial the Tsuruya-san had made a few weeks ago to advertise the SOS Brigade...worked. In more ways than one.

Since the commercial, there have been an influx of requests. Not all of them pertaining to our club's actual intent. And of course, Haruhi being Haruhi, chose the only ones that sounded interesting.

And by interesting, I mean ridiculous.

Yare yare.

In the past weeks, we have been on ghost hunts, visiting places where UFOs had been spotted, and once or twice, accidentally exposed a psychic. There was also a matter that took place that shall never be spoken of again. Yeah, can someone please remind me why I put up with this?

Anyway, these were all past events. Today, was much worse.

* *

If I remember correctly a few months ago, a group a freshman had gathered in front of the SOS Brigade clubroom in order for a chance to join. Well, when I walked to the club room today, that group was even larger than usual.

I moved through the masses and pushed my way into the room.

I saw Haruhi's almost triumphic smile as she sat in her chair.

"Haruhi, what's going on?"

"More applicants!"

I turned back to the group of freshman outside the door.

Mat God have mercy on their souls. If she's feeling merciful...

* *

I sat in my chair and watched, one by one, as Haruhi interviewed the freshmen. I should say interrogated, but interview sounds less like something she would kill me for.

There were a few that even I thought would make it, but all were denied.

Then we got to the last kid.

"So, what's your name?"

"My name is Shinichi Yamoda. It is a pleasure to meet you, Suzumiya-sama."

Suzumiya-sama? I can already tell I'm not gonna like this guy.

"Okay. Well, what talents do you have?"

"Talents?"

"Yes,yes talents. Y'know, what can you do that would aid our Brigade?"

"Well. I don't really have any talents."

"Really? Okay then, do you know of any supernatural activity that happens around you?"

"Supernatural activity.....no, can't think of anything."

"Why do you want to be in this club in the first place?"

"Because I've heard of you Suzumiya-sama! I also saw the commercial and had to see!"

"What?"

At this he stood up and in a proud voice said,

"I too believe in Espers, Time Travelers, Aliens, and Sliders!"

I'm pretty sure that at that point my brain cracked.

Dead silence filled the room for a good minute.

"Are you mocking me?!"

Haruhi had a intense anger on her face.

"n-no! I truly do believe!"

"Next!"

"But-but wait-!"

"I SAID NEXT!"

The freshman then scrambled out of the classroom with a speed not even Tsuruya-san could keep up with.

* *

She must have been in a bad mood the rest of the day, because she didn't say anything else to anyone.

"I'm leaving." she said abruptly.

She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room.

"Well, that was an eventful day." Koizumi said.

"I'm just glad that last guy didn't get in."

We've already got one you. Don't need another.

At that point, I heard Nagato close her book, the signal that it's time to go.

I grabbed my stuff and headed home.

* *

That night, I couldn't get to sleep.

It was what that Shinichi guy had said.

"I too believe in Espers, Time Travelers, Aliens, and Sliders!"

Dear God, I think we've stumbled on another Haruhi.

That guy is gonna be a problem down the road. Oh well, no sense in dwelling on the past.

* *

The next day, Haruhi didn't show up for school.

**End of Episode 6**

**Author's Note:** Yes, yes, I know, short chapter. This is basically canon fodder for later episodes. But, it will be an important plot device. Til then~


	9. Episode 12

**Author's Note:** I'm sure you guys have been wondering when I was going to continue with the first chapter, and here it is! I warn you, something very...strange is going to happen in this chapter. Let's just say, well actually, I can't say anything without ruining further episodes, so, read & review!

* *

**The Melancholy of Kyon Part 2**

Well, after the meeting, since it was late in the afternoon, Haruhi wanted to go ahead and get this over with. We reached the guys house. I still have a feeling I've seen him before. Oh, well. It'll probably come back to me after I see him.

We got to his place, and all was quiet inside. Haruhi jiggled the lock and saw it was locked.

"Oh well, c'mon, let's go around back."

Haruhi, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, stop now. I'd really like to not have a criminal record before graduation. Or at all if possible.

Nagato then walked over to the door. I saw her mouth moving, so I knew she was using her bogus magic again. She then pushed in the door.

"Huh, I didn't know it was open."

Because it wasn't. Wait, this whole situation seems very familiar. Huh.

We walked in and saw how small the inside was. We could all barely fit inside.

"Well, I guess he's isn't here."

With those words, I got an uncomfortably familiar fellnig. Oh, right. I remember now.

The camel cricket incident.

"Um, I think we should search tomorrow." I suggested to Haruhi.

"Yeah, you're probably right, if he isn't here, it's going to be a better chance if we search town."

We all vacated the apartment.

"Well, dismissed until tomorrow. Get there at 9 a.m. Sharp! If not, Penalty."

At that, she looked straight at me.

I'm not always late, ya know.

Everyone split up. Once Haruhi was gone, I came back to see that everyone was back as well.

"So, I'm not the only one who noticed."

"No. It seems that that space has a feel similar to the camel cricket."

I still shuddered at the mention of that thing.

"What do you think Nagato?"

"..."

She simply stared.

We decided to go ahead and get this over with and headed inside. Mikuru had her hand to her head, which meant she was being contacted by her superiors. When she put down her hand, she looked confused.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been given permission to use deadly force."

"What does that-?"

"Commencing transfer."

Nagato then began speaking in her fast talking voice and an all too familiar flash of light blinded me.

* *

When I opened my eyes to a familiar scene. This was the place where the camel cricket was. The place Tsuruya had accidentally taken me on the day of the wolf spider. And we were back.

I knew something bad was going to happen.

"It is approaching."

What is?

At that moment, something burst from the sands. And, you guessed it, it was a camel cricket.

A shudder went through my body.

"Nagato, I thought you deleted this thing!"

"I did."

"Then why is it here?!"

"It is not the same entity we fought last time."

"Huh?"

"99.99997623% similarity."

"So it's like it, but not?"

"Exactly."

Great.

I looked around and saw Koizumi getting his powers ready, Tsuruya pulling the biggest gun I've ever seen out of her phone, and even Mikuru pull out some weird device that looked like a TV. Remote. And I'm standing here with no weapon.

I hate being normal.

That was when the camel cricket started to attack. Although the other one attacked in charges, this one shot a laser. A laser?!

And it was aimed at me.

I braced myself for death but the shot never connected. I opened my eyes and saw Nagato standing in front of me with her arms in front of her and her hand flayed.

"Thanks, Nagato."

"Not necessary."

I heard a few explosion and thought the cricket was attacking again, but it was coming from Mikuru's remote-thing. It was firing missiles.

Cool.

"Final Raid!" I heard Koizumi shout.

Multiple fireballs were launched from the one he was holding and hit the cricket. Then Tsuruya started firing.

At that point I thought, wow, between these guys, nothing can stop them. That made me feel somewhat better.

Nagato walked over to the cricket. It was defeated, but Nagato had to delete it so it wouldn't get anyone again. I saw her mouth moving at that fast pace. I knew we were okay.

"Everyone good? No injuries?"

Everyone nodded.

"Good."

I turned around and saw that the cricket was disintegrating. Then I heard something very ominous.

"Commencing virus corruption." I heard in a grindy mechanical voice.

Nagato feel over.

"Nagato!"

Everyone ran over and I picked her up.

"Nagato!"

She wasn't responding.

"Nagato!"

Her eyes flew open.

"Requesting virus deletion....Denied....Requesting virus removal....Denied.....Requesting virus protection....approved.... Commencing virus protection"

Her mouth started moving miles a minute. You could see that data flashing in her eyes.

"Error....Virus protection not compatible...Upgrading for compatibility"

Upgrading? That doesn't sound good.

Her mouth moved faster than ever. Then something weird happened. She suddenly made a huge gasp. That scared me a little.

"Upgrading complete....virus deleted"

Then she went limp.

"Nagato! Nagato are you alright?!"

Her eyes opened slowly.

"Nagato?"

"Yes, I appear to be okay."

She got up and dusted herself off.

"Are you sure? You said something about upgrading and then you gasped. That's unlike you."

"No, Kyon. I'm okay."

Well, okay then. Wait, did she just abbreviate? Maybe the upgrade gave her more normal speaking patterns.

"Well, is the cricket gone?"

"Yep."

This is kinda weird.

"Well, let's go."

Another flash of light and we were back in the room. And the person we were supposed to be looking for was on his bed. Wait. Now I remember! He's that guy Haruhi told off. What's his name? Shinichi? Huh. Wonder how he got involved with the cricket.

As we left, I bumped into the table with his computer on it. It flashed on, and on it, the SOS Brigade homepage. With the old image on it.

"Hey, Nagato!" I called to her.

"Yes, Kyon?"

She's not talking with her normal monotone voice. She actually sounded more like a normal teenage girl. That's....weird. Well, I guess it'll make her seem more normal.

"Um, look at this."

She looked at the screen at look puzzled.

"How can this be?"

She put her hand on the monitor and started speaking fast.

She reached back her hand with a confused look. At least, a Nagato confused look.

"It seems the entity from before re-manifested itself back onto this image. I've sent some programs to take care of it. No worries. C'mon Kyon."

Wow. This is a really drastic switch between the her now and her before. It's kind of uncomfortable.

After that, everyone split up and went home. Personally, I was exhausted.

* *

I woke up really early that morning. I don't know why. Especially it being Saturday! Sigh.

Oh well. Maybe today I won't arrive late.

I looked at the clock. 6:37. Damn.

* *

When I got to the train station at around 7, no one was there. Well, there goes my theory of Haruhi camping out here. But, it was actually kind of nice. It was still that time where the sun wasn't up too high and the air was still kind of chill.

I can't wait to see everyone's face. Good thing I brought a book.

I pulled that copy of "Hyperion" Nagato lent me and read it while I waited for the first person.

I got about halfway through it By the time the first person showed up. The book was actually pretty good.

"Hey, Kyon."

I looked up and saw Tsuruya.

"Hey, Tsuruya. What are you doing up so early?"

"You're ups early too, ya knows."

Got me there.

"Watcha readin's?"

"Oh, just a book Nagato lent me a while back. It's pretty good."

"Oh."

About 5 minutes later Haruhi showed up. I could tell because I heard her growling about not being here first.

"Hey, Haruhi."

"Be quiet. I have a headache."

Whatever.

She actually didn't interrupt my reading while we waited. Koizumi arrived next, the Nagato, and the finally, Mikuru showed up. Which I found odd seeing as how she always has impeccable timing.

We went inside and ordered. I put the book back in my bag and saw Nagato staring at me. She saw I had caught her and quickly looked away. Huh.

After eating, we got split into groups of two. Koizumi with Haruhi, Tsuruya with Mikuru, and me with Nagato.

When the bill came, Haruhi paid. Which was weird since Mikuru was last. Now I'm wondering what her penalty will be. Even though I have a good idea.

* *

With the time we were given, me and Nagato just walked around. She seemed kind of nervous. Which was odd in and of itself. She wouldn't stop looking at the ground.

"Hey, Nagato?"

She looked up with a quizzical look.

"Wanna go to the library?"

I saw a small smile appear on the edges of her lips.

"I would like that."

We walked to the library. Nagato kinda disappeared into the rows of bookshelves, while I just went to the waiting area and continued reading.

* *

About an hour later I closed the back cover of the book. It was really interesting. Me and Nagato will have to have a discussion about it. Noticing the time, I went to go get Nagato. She checked out her books and we hurried back to the square.

When we got back, Tsuruya and Mikuru were already back.

"Hey guys. Find anything interesting?"

"Not really. We endeds up walking around. Oh! Here."

Tsuruya handed me and Nagato a rock with a symbol engraved into it.

"They were selling these. I got one for everyone."

"Thanks."

"Thank you."

I put mine in my bag with the rest of my stuff.

"Where are they?" I finally said after another hour passed.

"There they are!" Mikuru said as she pointed. I looked over and saw Koizumi with his ever present smile and Haruhi with a scowl on her face. It's like looking at the masks of Comedy and Tragedy.

"Hey guys. Where were you?"

"N-none of your business.!" Haruhi said.

I saw she had a slight blush. Now what was this?

"Um, my headache is really bad right now. Let's go ahead and go home." She said.

With that, everyone was dismissed. I caught up with Koizumi afterwards.

"What happened?"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." He said with that grin.

"You know full well what I mean. Now what happened?"

"Well, a certain series of events occurred that put me and Suzumiya-san in an awkward situation that I would rather not talk about."

"You're dodging the question."

"Yes I am. Now, I'm dodging you."

He said as a group of people passed between us and he disappeared.

Well, that's not suspicious.

**End of Episode 12**

**Author's Note:** And now you will simmer! R & R! Ja ne~


	10. Episode 3

**I do not own Haruhi Suzumiya or anything related thereof. Only things I own are on FictionPress.**

* *

**An Average Day**

"Everyone! Great news!" This was the first thing that Haruhi said as she burst through the club door one day.

By now, I've learned that if Haruhi thinks something is 'great news' it probably isn't.

"What is it now Haruhi?"

"A carnival is in town!"

So?

"We're going!"

I really hate it when she plans my weekend for me. Oh, well. I'd probably just sit around watching TV anyway. And besides, a carnival does sound kinda fun.

"Cools!" I heard Tsuruya say.

Nagato must have been interested in this, because I saw that she was looking right at Haruhi.

"Sounds like fun." Koizumi said with that smile of his.

Sigh. I swear, anything he says just has an aura to it that instantly annoys me.

"But what if we have plans already?"

"Kyon, I know good and well you never have plans!"

Damn. Wait, is she stalking me? Never mind.

"We'll go this Saturday! It'll be so cool! Whoever's last will receive a penalty!"

And without another word or explanation of where this carnival is, she left. Sometimes I think she tells the others things that will never be revealed to me.

Yare yare.

* *

I spent some part of the night on the computer looking up any nearby carnivals, but there weren't any. The closest I found was a good way out of town. That probably means we'll be at the train station. Good, at least I know where to go first.

* *

Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap! I woke up late this morning! And knowing Haruhi, I'll probably have to pay for everything, including admission to the carnival!

I parked my bike in the parking garage and saw, indeed, I was the last one there. Damn.

* *

after hearing Haruhi's ranting and paying for the food, we all boarded a train. Needless, to say, it was a long, boring trip.

* *

When we got there, the place wasdeserted. Which I found a tad bit odd. But, this probably had something to do with Haruhi, so I didn't question it. Of course, I had to pay. For everything. Which annoyed me.

But it wasn't all that bad. Haruhi seemed generally excited when she saw the psychics tent. She went in, and a few minutes later came out yelling, "That was a complete jip!" Wow, I wonder what she was told. Nagato went in and came out with a slightly bemused face. Of course, only I could notice.

We got separated, how I'll never know, and I wound up at the shooting galleries, there I saw Tsuruya.

"Hey, Tsuruya."

"Hey, Kyon. Hey, wanna play?"

"You are so on."

After losing to her about a few times, I decided to stop while I was behind and let her collect her prizes. She walked off with a smile on her face carrying a mountain of plushies, laughing all the way.

I wandered around and wound up in the hall of mirrors. I always thought these things were a little annoying, especially when you somehow manage to bump into every single wall. The reason I bring this up is because while walking through, I found Mikuru, doing that said thing.

I tried to help her out, but every time it seemed like she was close, she was on the other side of the wall After a half hour of this, I finally managed to get her out. I don't think she'll ever go in one again.

We walked around a bit after that and found Haruhi, Nagato, and Koizumi by one of the roller coasters..

"Hey, guys."

"Where have you guys been? Have you seen Tsuruya-san?"

"I saw her not too long ago. Just look for the mountain of plushies."

"Mountain of plushies?"

"Don't ask."

"Okay, anyway, we were about to get on this ride. You wanna go?"

"Sure."

We got in, but it was one of those that only seat two people. Koizumi and Nagato took the first ride. When they got back, Koizumi looked a little disheveled.

"Hey, Nagato. How was the ride?"

"It was...terrifying."

Ah.

(Author's Note: To picture Kyon's face at this moment, picture the face he had when he slowly realized,"Dear God, I just kissed Haruhi" in episode 6 of the first season. Thank you.)

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!!!

I tried running away, but something snagged my collar.

"And where do you think you're going?!" I heard Haruhi say. "Come on!"

"NOOO!!!!"

As I was being pulled into what seemed like certain death, I couldn't help but notice that Nagato had the faintest of smiles on her face.

* *

After the car reached the terminal, I could not move. I turned my head to Haruhi. She had the look of someone who had been scared speechless. Then I saw her trademark smile.

"Again!"

Why?!

The pod then shot out of the terminal and all you could hear was me screaming.

* *

"Oh, don't be such a baby."

After riding it 15 more times, I spent the next 2 minutes with my head in a trash can. When I was done, I walked over to Nagato.

"That..was...not funny."

"I believe it was closest to what humans call 'humor.'"

Then she turned to me.

"So, yes, it was funny."

Great, not only does our emotionless alien friend have a sense of humor, she's also a tad sadistic.

* *

We wound up at one of the arcade sections. With the place empty, we could play to our hearts content. I played a few rounds of skeeball against Koizumi and walked around. I saw Mikuru and Nagato standing next to something. I walk over and see that it's one of those Whak-A-Mole games.

They both took out some coins and put them into the slots. They grabbed the mallets and the fun began.

Mikukru tried hitting them, but she was too afraid.

"It's not going to hurt them, right?" She asked me.

"No way. They're only machines."

"Oh, okay."

One popped up and Mikuru bopped it on the head. For a second she looked a little triumphant, then the game became infinitly faster. Shee tried to watch them, but grew dizzy and fell backwards. I caught her and told her she should probably play something less...confusing.

It was then I saw Nagato. She was having no problems keeping up. I noticed that at first she was hitting them a few seconds after they popped up, then settled into a steady beat. Like a gear. Then it began to speed up with every hit. I stood there with my jaw dropped as Nagato continually hit each of them at the exact moment they raised their furry heads. At one point, she was moving so fast, I couldn't see her hit the dang things.

She looked like she was having a lot of fun. Then I heard a crack. I looked and saw that she had been moving so fast, that she broke the mallet. And the moles head. All of them.

She stopped and stared back and forth from the mallet to the mechanical moles as if she were confused.

"I believe I have broken the game." She said as cooly as she says everything.

In all honesty, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier. We then made a haste exit so as not to have to pay for the machine.

* *

We walked around the carnival a few times, pretty much riding all the rides well into the late evening. We only found Tsuruya when it was time to leave. By then, her mountain had at least tripled in size.

How is she even able to carry that?

"Wheres have you guys been? I've been looking alls over the place!"

"Wow, Kyon wasn't kidding about the plushies."

"I know right?! It's so megas cool! I beat Kyon like 30 times at the shooting gallerys!"

Why must you mention that?

"Let's get a group photo!" Haruhi said, pulling out her camera.

We all got together in a group. Tsuruya put down her stuffed animals behind us giving a weird background, but enough where you could still see the rides. Haruhi set the timer on her camera and ran back.

"Say 'cheese!'"

"Cheeeeeese!"

Haruhi got her camera and we split Tsuruya's animals between us to lighten her load.

"C'mon guys. It's getting pretty late. We'd better get home."

With that, we were effectively dismissed.

* *

When we got back, Haruhi said we would get tomorrow off. So I pretty much just sat around and got some homework done. It was a good end to an all-around good weekend.

* *

The next day, I saw that someone had taken all our trip photos and put them up on the board. I wonder who did that?

**End of Episode 3**


	11. Episode 4

**Author's Note:** In commemoration of the greatest month in the world, October, I proudly present, the Halloween episode! Okay, in the story, it's not Halloween because Japan doesn't celebrate it, or October because that would ruin certain aspects of the ordering, but bear with me people!

* *

**Castle Fright Syndrome Part 1**

We had only been back to school for a couple months now, but it had felt longer. Sure, there had been a few exciting moments with the carnival and the dreaded incident that had involved Sasaki and her gaggle of friends, but other than that, it was pretty normal. Luckily for me, Golden Week started on Monday, and this being Friday, it gave me even more energy.

Hell, the arduous climb up that hill didn't even bother me today, which is saying something. When I got to class, I had a smile on my face. Then I saw Haruhi also had that smile of hers on her face and immediately thought, 'Now what?"

I sat down fully expecting Haruhi to say something, but she didn't. It kinda made me uncomfortable. Because I know that when she holds things back, _something_ is gonna go wrong for us. And by us I mean me.

After sitting through class without falling asleep for once, it was lunch time and Haruhi ran out of the class, most likely to the clubroom.

I walked over to the Old Building and got into the clubroom. I knocked and heard Mikuru's ever pleasant call of "Come in." I went inside and saw her in her maid outfit. Even though Haruhi had given me 'custady' over her, I didn't really make her do anything. Guess it must be habit for her.

I also saw that Nagato was reading in her corner. This was not the odd part. She was wearing that witch costume from the movie and her fortune-telling booth. Okay, sure, why not?

I then noticed something very peculiar. Haruhi was busy setting up decorations. On further inspection, they were Halloween decorations.

Umm, you do know that live we in Japan right? And it's still spring?

"Of course I know that! What do you think I am?!"

I could answer that, but it would only cause myself physical harm.

After making me finish what she had started, she simply sat at the computer and began fooling around with the mouse, every now and then, looking impatiently at the door. Is she expecting someone?

Eventually Koizumi and Tsuruya both showed up. Koizumi, with a smile that seemed more irritating than usual, and Tsuruya with an even bigger smile and a louder laugh. Upon further inspection of everyone, they all seemed to be in a very upbeat attitude today, even Nagato.

This made me feel left out.

"Okay, I'll bite, what's everyone so happy about?"

It's like I had said something in complete gibberish because everyone looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. I looked around and saw that Haruhi had gone from having a smile on her face, to her usual scowl. And it was directed right at me.

"You really forgot, didn't you?" She asked me.

"Forgot what?"

"The trip!"

Trip?

"Yes! The trip! The one we'd planned back at the snow resort? Remember now?"

Not really.

"Uggh!"

Koizumi stepped in at this point.

"Tsuruya-san here had proposed a trip to a castle for our next mystery trip and Suzumiya-san thought that it was a good idea. It has been scheduled for many months now."

"How could you forget?!" Haruhi fumed.

I didn't even know we had planned anything. Well, I'd better play along so I don't get stuck carrying anything.

"Oh, yeah, _that_ trip.I remember now."

"Liar."

Damn.

"Well, you're still going! You just have less time to get ready."

And when are we shipping off Captain Haruhi?

"Monday."

Sigh. I really need to work on my inner monologue.

* *

Needless to say, Haruhi was mad the rest of the day, but that didn't dampen my spirits like it normally would. It's like my mind has developed an Anti-Haruhi shield that deflects all her death glares and scowls from affecting me in any major way.

After school, I went to the clubroom and knocked like usual.

"Come in."

This was not Mikuru's voice, but Nagato's. I came in anyway.

"Yo, Nagato."

She looked up in recognition then looked down at her book. We were the only two in the room and it was kind of eerie. Every now and then, Nagato would look up from her book and stare at a solitary spot on the wall across from her.

I stared too, to see if I could see what had grasped her attention so acutely. I didn't see anything of interest.

"Nagato."

"..."

"Nagato?"

"..."

She blinked once, twice, three times, almost as if coming out of a trance. Was she...daydreaming?

Before I could ask, everyone burst into the clubroom at once, which kinda freaked me out. They all took their usual places. Mikuru began making tea, Koizumi sat in the chair opposite me, Tsuruya started walking around, pacing impatiently as if waiting for something to happen, and Haruhi sat at her computer.

All was eerily quiet.

…

…

…

…

"Hahahahaha!"

That laugh nearly made me fall out of my seat. It was Tsuruya, laughing at something or another, nobody really knew.

"Okay, everyone, we'll meet at the station on Monday!" Haruhi said with her usual 'my-word-is-law' tone. "By then, you must all be pack, ready, and have all of the necessary supplies ready!"

She then gave out a list and gave me a hard look.

"Especially you, Kyon!"

Yeah, yeah.

"Everyone be there by 9:00 A.M or it's the death penalty!"

And with that, we were dismissed.

* *

I scanned over the itinerary of the trip which was actually very well put together.

Monday:

9:00: Report to train station. Board train and head for airport.

19:00: Get unpacked and sleep.

Tuesday:

8:00: Wake up and eat. All those who wake up late will not be served breakfast.

And scribbled next to this was a note that said 'This means you, Kyon.' Sigh.

9:45: Begin Morning Expedition

Morning expedition?

11:55: Eat Lunch and begin Midday Expedition

14:45: Break time/Recess

16:45: Begin Afternoon Expedition

19:45: Eat Dinner and Begin Evening Expedition

21:00: Sleep

Wednesday:

7:00: Wake up and eat Breakfast

9:00: Begin Mystery Explanation

11:55: Break for Lunch

13:00: End Lunch and resume Mystery

21:00: Rejoin and give conclusions. Afterward, Dinner

Thursday:

7:00: Wake up and eat Breakfast Afterward Break Time/Recess

11:55: Lunch

20:00: Begin Talent Competition

Great.

24:00: Begin Scary Stories.

Sigh. What are we, 8?

Friday:

Entire Day: Recess/ Packing Up Notice: Be finished by 17:00, all things left unpacked will be left behind.

Saturday:

Arrival, then Dismissal

Sunday:

Day Off. Have Fun!

The next part looked scribbled in at the last moment.

Kyon, bring your sister.

Sigh.

* *

And that shattered my shield.

Saturday and Sunday went by pretty fast and Monday was here before I knew it.

I pedaled down to the station with my sister on the back of my bike.I parked and we walked over to everyone who had already arrived. My sister was excited to see everyone and ran over and said hey. Haruhi looked happy to see her and I thought I wouldn't get punished until she walked over to me and whispered, "You still get a penalty."

Damn.

* *

Tsuruya handed out our tickets and we got onto the train and headed to the airport. We got onto the plane and it took off. I mostly just tried to get as much sleep as I could to lessen the jet-lag but to no avail. Thanks to Tsuruya however, we did get into first-class, so that was pretty cool.

The main reason I couldn't get to sleep was because I had never been on a plane before. Had I mentioned I am afraid of heights? Yeah,I am. Well, not so much the heights part, but the falling from the heights part was what freaked me out. And being inside a 300-ton missile with wings moving at speed unknown did not help this one bit.

When we got there, we were greeted by, who else, Mr. Arakawa and Ms. Mori, they butler and maid who had accompanied us for all our excursions and apparently worked for both Tsuruya's family and Koizumi's Organization.

When we got to the castle, it was a lot bigger than I thought it'd be. I forget the name. Something long and British. Anyway, I would normally make a comment on its architecture or something, but I was too tired. After we were shown to our rooms, I'm pretty sure that there was about a two-second period from when I fell into my bed to when I fell asleep.

* *

I woke up to the piercing rays of the sun shining in from one of the windows. I got up and got dressed and headed down for food.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Koizumi said when he saw me.

Yeah, don't ever call me that again.

I sat down and Mikuru walked over and saw a plate before me. I then noticed she was wearing her maid outfit. Why did she bring that? Oh well.

I tried some of the food. It was actually pretty good.

"Wow, good job Mikuru. Kudos."

"Umm, it wasn't me who made it."

"Really? Who did?"

"Nagato-san."

I looked and saw her nod in recognition. Huh.

"Oh, well, good job Nagato."

"Thank you."

"She was the first to wake up." Mikuru said.

Of course she was. She probably read the itinerary and is now following it exactly.

"Hey, where is everybody? They can't still be sleeping can they?"

You could hear laughter echoing through the halls. It got louder and I saw my sister being chased by Tsuruya and Haruhi. Well, that explains that.

* *

After everyone finished eating, Haruhi stood up and started her proclamations.

"Listen up everyone! We'll be starting our expeditions in 15 minutes so get ready!"

What exactly are these expeditions for anyway?

"Well, we're in an old castle! And everybody knows that old castles are crawling with ghosts! We're gonna find them and capture them!"

...Of course. Thank you for making the perfectly clear.

She then drew her toothpicks that she seemed to carry everywhere with her We drew lots and got split into three teams of two. Koizumi and Nagato, Tsuruya and Haruhi, and me and Mikuru. My sister tagged along with Haruhi and Tsuruya and we each took a different section of the castle.

Personally, if there are any ghosts in this castle, A. I don't want to find them, and B. I definitely don't want Haruhi to find them. That's just something that would break me.

* *

It wasn't anything like you would expect of an old castle from movies, it was actually pretty nice. It was nice and warm with a good amount of sunshine, our steps echoed through the halls, but other than that, it was quiet. Really, it was just a nice walk around with Mikuru.

"U-umm, Kyon?"

"Yeah?"

"Have, have you noticed anything different about Suzumiya-san lately?"

That's a weird question.

"Not really."

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"Um, no reason." she said defensively.

Okay, she's hiding something. And that might be dangerous.

"Is everything okay? You're acting more nervous than usual."

"Uh-uh, n-no. Everything's o-."

CRASH

I whipped my head around to see where the noise came from. I saw something on the ground. We walked over to it. It was a ceramic vase they had passed. I looked around. There was no possible reason it would fall. Now that's just creepy.

* *

We reconvened and we told them about what'd happened and Haruhi seemed mildly interested. We went to where the vase had fallen. Haruhi inspected the place where the vase was. She then looked disappointed.

"It was probably just the wind." She muttered to herself. "Good try though."

What?

"Come on, let's go get lunch."

Sigh. But-but-but-ahh! Never mind.

* *

We ate lunch and all seemed pretty normal. Except for Haruhi. She had a puzzled look on her face, as if she was thinking about something. I don't see this face very often so she must be-

"Kyon."

"Huh?"

I was snapped out of my musings to see Haruhi glaring at me. What did I do now?

"You're staring."

Sigh.

After lunch, we split back up into groups of three this time. Haruhi, Mikuru and Koizumi, and me, Nagato, and Tsuruya. It was pretty much the same except the halls were filled with Tsuruya's laugh. I guess she must be thinking that if she laughs long enough, they'll come out and join her. And that image is enough to give me nightmares.

Nagato pretty much walked along quietly like a puppet following the controller's orders. I wonder what she thinks of all this.

When it came time to go back, we were walking down a flight of stairs, when it got really cold all of a sudden. That can't be good. Then, I saw Nagato shift uncomfortable and start falling, She turned in her fall and caught a glimpse of her eyes. She looked terrified.

"Nagato!"

I reach out and grab her hand and steady her back onto a step. I heard someone make a sigh of relief. It wasn't me. Was it Tsuruya?

"You okay? What was that?"

"It was nothing. Merely a misstep on my behalf. No need to worry."

And she started walking again as if nothing had happened. Okay, something weird is going on in this place. And I pray to God that it isn't ghosts.

* *

Since neither Nagato or Tsuruya mentioned what had happened to Haruhi, I thought it best to keep my mouth shut. Haruhi dismissed us so I thought I'd take a trip around the castle. Just to see if anything weird happened.

When I got back, I found everyone in a large game of Twister. Nagato was sitting in a nearby chair with the spinner.

"Right hand on Red."

"I got this!" Haruhi said.

That's what they all say, right before they-

PLOP

Everyone fell down and started laughing. It seems whenever I'm not around they always have to most fun. I feel like a kill-joy now.

We went into the kitchen and ate Dinner. After wards, Haruhi ran off somewhere. When she came back. She was lugging a large chest. She opened it and pulled out something that looked out of a movie.

"Since we're moving on to the Night Expedition, we'll need these!"

She said as she pointed at the table. What she was pointing at looked like a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a hairdryer.

(Author's Note: This is the best description I could think of for the ghostcatchers from Ghost-busters. Moving on.)

"We'll use these to capture any ghosts we might see tonight. And we'll need these!"

Also from the trunk she pulled several bright orange jumpsuits. Haruhi, you watch way to many American movies.

"C'mon! Let's get ready!"

Everyone did what Haruhi said like always and got into the jumpsuits and got a machine. Sigh. I know I'm going to regret this one day.

We split into groups of two again. Koizumi and Tsuruya, Mikuru and Nagato, and me and Haruhi. My little sister tagged along with Nagato's group.

"Let's moooove out!"

**End of Episode 4  
**

**Author's Note:**I am well aware this is a very long chapter. I meant it to be. The next chapter will be the last of this season, then I'll start putting up Omakes till Season 2. Enjoy!


	12. Episode 5

**Author's Note:** I decided to split this up into seasons. I'm currently writing about 4 other stories right now and I haven't updated in a while, so once I'm caught up I'll start with the second season. Enjoy!

* *

**Castle Fright Syndrome Part 2**

Haruhi had us romping around the castle now, looking for ghosts in ridiculous outfits that looked like they were from a weird sci-fi movie. Of course, my thought don't really impact her at all, so I didn't say anything.

Me and Haruhi were in the North part of the castle and had wound up in a tower somehow. It didn't really seem any different than walking around town at night.

"Grr." This was Haruhi talking. "Where are they?"

"What do you expect, the ghosts to jump out and say 'Hi' or something?"

"Be quiet."

Fine. I prefer it this way anyway. At least I can't get yelled at if I stay shut up.

We walked around for a good hour or so until Haruhi eventually got bored and we came back. Everyone else had apparently already given up and were waiting for us at the dining area.

Haruhi was put into a bad mood for the rest of dinner.

When we were being dismissed Koizumi made an announcement.

"Everyone, I am going to tell you this now, the victim shall not be one of the Tamaru brother this year. They had other plans and could not be contacted. Thus, the victim shall be one of us."

He paused. Probably for dramatic effect.

"The victim shall be chosen at random and will not be seen for the duration of the game. There will also be the addition of an accomplice, who shall also be chosen at random and not seen for the rest of the game. That is all. Good night."

After that we all went to bed. I really hope I'm not the victim. Actually, yes I do.

* *

I woke up the next morning to the sun again. I looked around. I was still in my room. Is that good or bad?

I went downstairs to the kitchen. When I came inside, I saw almost every one was there. Haruhi and Mikuru weren't there.

Great. Haruhi's got to be pissed about that.

"Ah, good morning. It seems you're still in the game." Koizumi said with that smile of his. "You'd better eat. The rules will be stated in about half an hour"

And with that, he continued eating.

I looked around. Nagato was staring at the wall across from her and Tsuruya was playing with my little sister. Between everyone, the one who solves this will probably be me. Of course, Nagato probably already knows. She's still staring. What's so interesting about that spot? I walked over to her.

"Nagato?"

She still stared. I waved my hand in front of her face.

"Nagato? You there?"

She blinked a few times and turned to me. I think I get it.

Yuki Nagato is a constant daydreamer.

* *

After I ate, Koizumi lead us to the main hall. Arakawa-san and Mori-san were behind him looking as if they were going to help us.

"Alright. Let's get started." Koizumi said.

"As I said last night, two people have been randomly chosen to play the roles of victim and accomplice. There also has been a person designated as the murderer. I do not know who this is, as this was also chosen at random."

What, did you just draw names out of a hat?

"No,no, that would be far too crude. Since the Tamaru brothers couldn't make it, they were given the choice. The only ones who know who each character is which role would be Arakawa-san and Mori-san."

Of course.

"Now then. On with the rules. If you have not already noticed, both Asahina-san and Suzumiya-san are both absent, which means they are filling the roles of victim and accomplice. But, we must first find out who is who, if we are to find out who the killer is. Clues have been spread across the castle for our help. Of course, these clues are very vague and not very helpful. Other than that, you will have to rely upon your own brain power.

The remaining players shall be put into a group of three and a group of two. These are myself and Tsuruya-san, and Kyon with his little sister and Nagato-san. But be aware of this. The killer already knows who they are and will try to stop you at every turn."

So I guess that means I'm not the killer. Cool, I guess.

"Now then, the only other rule is that if you find out who the killer is, you must withhold that secret until the end of the game. You may not tell anyone, including your own teammates. Of course, the killer is still far from done and those who get to close to the truth will try to be 'bumped off.' If you do happen to solve the mystery, and manage to survive until the end, and successfully reveal the killer, Suzumiya-san has promised the winner a reward."

That's probably something stupid.

"That's it. Not to hard now, is it?"

Yes, actually, it is.

* *

We walked around for a while looking for clues, but all the ones we had found we not only vague but strange. The only sound in the corridor was the sound of our footsteps. But I could have sworn that something wasn't right.

"Everyone, stop walking."

"What's wrong, Kyon-kun?" my sister asked.

"Just stop walking for a second.

Everyone stopped and then I heard it. Another set of footsteps stopping just after ours.

"We're being followed."

At this, my sister looked slightly more scared, but Nagato just sort of stood there. I guess it's hard to be scared of something you know is a game. I'm not even sure Nagato can feel 'fear.' But that's not important now.

If the clues we had found were important, I couldn't see how. We'd only found three so far, and we hadn't even opened them. We'd better get to the main hall before someone gets knocked off.

"C'mon. We'd better get back."

We started walking again, and I listened closely. The footsteps were gone. Well, that's...creepy.

* *

When we got back, Koizumi and Tsuruya were already there.

"Ah, there you are. We were afraid you might have been 'killed.'" Koizumi said with that smile. "Have you found any clues?"

I simply slide them onto the table

"We haven't opened them yet."

"Ah, well we have only found one."

Heh.

"So, let's open them now."

He took each envelop and tool out their contents and laid them on the table and read them aloud.

"After reading these over, it seems that they are addressed to a single person."

That's kind of a leap of faith isn't it?

"Now then, the clues. The first clue says' The victim is someone you see in the clubroom everyday. The accomplice you see for another reason.'"

Well, that doesn't help any.

"The second clue says 'The victim has been traumatized by a certain event.'"

That's probably Mikuru.

"'The accomplice has also been traumatized by another set of events.'"

Sigh. Great, don't give double-negatives for clues! I don't even think Haruhi has ever been traumatized by anything!

"The third clue says 'The victim is holding a great secret that can not be revealed, while the accomplice only seems to be honest.'"

Well, that's not helpful, but it does make me uneasy.

"And the fourth clue says 'The victim seems close to you, but is not, and the accomplice seems not, but is.'"

I hate it when people speak in riddles. And circles. Who wrote these things anyway?!

"There are also a word written on the back of them."

He flipped them backwards and there were words. 'Killer', 'Is', 'The', and 'Person.'

He then rearranged them to say 'The', 'Killer', 'Is', 'The', 'Person.'

"It seems we are missing a word."

Needless to say, Detective.

"Well, it seems we need to look around more. To cover more ground, everyone should go on their own."

...Hey, if he wants to get killed,by all means, do something stupid.

"Well, I'll see you all later." He said and walked off.

We all split up, I wanted to take my sister, but she was already walking away with Nagato. Ah, she'll be safe with her.

* *

~Tsuruya's POV~

I was walkings around whens I thought I heared something.

I looked around the corner and saw someone.

"Oh, it's just yous."

The person walked closers to me and pulled a Post-It out with the Kanji for 'Dead' ons it.

"Oh. You'res the killer. Darn."

"Sorry." The person went as they stuck it to my foreheads.

"It's cools. Well, I'd better get out. I remembers the rules. Later!"

I rans off to get to where Haru-nyan and Mikuru-chan were.

* *

~Back to Kyon~

I had been walking for a good 30-40 minutes and had not found anything. In all honesty, I got bored and sat down to take a break. I was nodding off when I heard someone walking. I instantly got on guard. The footsteps got closer and closer. Finally, the person rounded the corner.

"Kyon-kun!"

It was my little sister. She looked like she had been crying. She ran over to me and hugged my leg. I got down and hugged her.

"What's wrong?"

"I-I-I-I can't find Yuki-chan!"

"Nagato? Wasn't she with you?"

"Uh-huh. But we got separated and I haven't seen her since and then I heard someone following me and I got scared.!"

"It's okay. It's okay, I'm here."

* *

After calming her down, we started walking around. I'm pretty sure I know who who's who. Since I'm pretty sure that Nagato's already out of the game, that means Koizumi is the killer, Haruhi is the accomplice, and Mikuru is the victim.

Predictable, and even though it's a game, it still made me a little miffed. So, right now, we're going back to the main hall for our conclusions. I'm pretty sure it's time since the sun is down already.

* *

We got back to the main hall and saw that Koizumi was already sitting and waiting for.

"Ah, so I see you haven't died yet."

"Yep. And I know who's who."

"Okay, elaborate for us."

"What's elaborate mean?" my sister asked.

"To explain."

"Okay, back to me. I have it all figured out! The victim is Mikuru! The accomplice is Haruhi! And you, Koizumi, are the killer!"

Dead silence. Then Koizumi started clapping.

"Very good! Very good, Kyon! It seems you put a lot of hard work and thinking for this."

Yes, actually. I did.

"Unfortunately."

He then stood up and turned around. On his back was a Post-It with 'Dead' written on it.

"I already lost."

Wait, what?! Then that means. I turned around in time to see my sister put a Post-It on my shirt.

"Sorry, Kyon-kun. I'm the killer. I win!"

"Yes, you did indeed. A very clever plan you had. Kudos." Koizumi said and did a stage bow.

All of this took a second to register in my mind. My sister was the killer? I totally didn't see that coming. Which means one thing. The crying, the acting scared and innocent. My sister is an evil genius.

* *

After that Koizumi took us out to a trailer outside the castle and everyone was there, all sporting Post-Its with 'Dead' on it except Mikuru who's had 'Accomplice' on it.

What?! She was the Accomplice. Wait, Mikuru and my little sister teaming up to kill Haruhi. It makes so much sense it's scary. But, doesn't that mean she's hiding something for us? And the clues, they said things that even I didn't know.

"Kyon!" Haruhi said.

"What?"

She took a rubber band and flicked it at me.

"Oww! What was that for?!"

"You were staring. Again."

Sigh. I need to work on that.

* *

That night we had a large party that ended in me doing something that I will never speak of again that involved Haruhi spiking my drink and a blow torch. Where we got a blow torch I will never know.

I woke up with a pounding headache. Damn hangover. I went down for breakfast and saw there was still traces of last nights party strewn everywhere. Toilet paper hung from the ceiling, the leftovers of a confetti smoothie that Haruhi had tried to feed Mikuru was still inside the blender, and a horse was walking through the kitchen.

When I opened the pantry door Haruhi was hanging upside down from the top shelf with an empty sake bottle in her hand.

"Turn out that night!"

I quickly shut the door and got some cereal. Everyone came down later, Mikuru and Koizumi not making eye contact after last nights game of 'Seven Minutes of Heaven' where pretty much everyone was drunk.

Nagato came down, with the marker still on her face Haruhi had put on her. Luckily, my sister had left and gone to bed before Haruhi broke out the sake. Everyone was very quiet. When Haruhi finally came out of the pantry she said with all seriousness,

"All in favor of never speaking of this again?"

Everyone raised their hands.

"Good."

She then went back upstairs, probably just as hungover as I was.

* *

Thankfully, today was pretty much just rest. Wait, did Haruhi plan on this? Never mind. I think two evil geniuses in the same place will cause some sort of paradox.

Around 8:00 Haruhi came by to tell us to get out stuff for the Talent Competition. Good thing I came prepared. I grabbed the large case under my bed and headed down.

* *

We drew lots like we always do for the performance order. This time, I actually wanted to go first, but Nagato got that place.

Her act was mostly just a simple magic act, complete with her in a magician's top hat and wand. Haruhi got a kick out of it thinking she was talented, but I noticed she was using her bogus magic, so all her tricks were probably real, which scared me slightly. Luckily she didn't make anyone disappear and Koizumi went next.

He pretty much just read a monologue from some play or something. Not very interesting, but entertaining none the less. Haruhi went next.

Haruhi's act was her singing for some opera, which I had to admit, was actually very good. After that, she looked fairly content with herself and sat back down. Mikuru went next but she couldn't do hers because as she was walking she stepped wrong and and hurt her ankle, because of this, she got excused.

Nagato checked out her ankle to make sure it wasn't broken or anything and it was my turn.

I reached for case, opened it, and pulled out my guitar.

"Hey, I thought you said you couldn't play an instrument!" Haruhi snapped.

"I lied."

I put on my guitar, tuned it, and strummed. Perfect.

"I know a lot of songs, but I thought this one might be good for this occasion. I wrote this."

I took a deep breath.

"'Fall From Grace.'"

My fingers started moving on their own. From years of practice, they knew their way around this guitar. The song was something I'd worked on for as long as I could remember. It was full of low smooth tones and high sharp notes intermingled into a work that held my very heart in it. It ended on a fading G and it was dead silent.

I put up my guitar and everyone started clapping. Even Nagato, who usually just sat there.

"Well, I think we have a clear winner!" Haruhi said. "All in favor of Kyon!"

Everyone raised their hands.

"Then it's settled! Congratulations, Kyon, you win."

"Awesome. What's the prize?"

"Since you won, you don't have to tell a story."

Well, it isn't what I'd expected but, it's better than nothing.

"Since we got done earlier than I thought, everyone, take a few minutes to put everything up and come back."

* *

When we got back, I could see that Mikuru was still dazzled by my song and had stars in her eyes. Haruhi noticed this too. She probably wanted to snap at her because she was looking at me as if asking if she could. I simply shook my head and she pouted.

I walked over to Mikuru and shook her.

"Hey, Mikuru, snap out of it."

She blinked and shook her head.

"Huh, what happened? Oh, Kyon. I didn't know you could play so well."

"Not many people do."

"Okay, you two. Break it up. It's time to start!" Haruhi yelled.

They drew lots again and Haruhi told me to be the judge since I didn't have to tell a story. Huh, so she's giving everyone an equal chance.

First up was Haruhi herself.

* *

I honestly had no idea what her story was about. It somehow went from talking about ghosts to werewolves to zombies and ended with the characters getting eaten by the Loch Ness Monster and becoming ghosts themselves. I gave it a 10 for creativity but a 3 for story.

Koizumi went next.

His was actually pretty well built. It had a nice beginning, was full of suspense, and felt like reading a light novel based on a horror anime I'd watched once. I gave a 9 for creativity and an 8 for story.

Mikuru was up next.

Her story was honestly, the cutest ghost story I'd ever heard. It made sense, but was just so underplayed for her stuttering and 'spooky' noises and hand gestures. I'd almost laughed when she started talking about how the ghosts looked and went 'Whooooo~' with her hands above her head and wiggling her fingers. I was forced to give her a 7 for creativity but a 2 for story. Sorry.

Finally Nagato went.

She sat in the middle of all of us and pulled a flashlight from her bag. She turned it on and placed it in front of her face. And spoke with her usual monotone voice.

"Once upon a time, there was an alien. But this alien lived among humans and thus, looked like one. Her mission was to watch a person who held the fate of the entire universe in their hands. During this time of observation, she met many people who she could consider 'friends.' But one night, these 'friends' took the alien to an old castle, and while there, had a large party. The 'friends' did something that the alien would never forget, and one night, after they all told scary stories, she snuck into each of their rooms and killed them in their sleep, because she hated them with a deep passion. The end."

She then clicked off the flashlight.

That was easily the scariest thing I'd ever heard. I looked around. Koizumi had lost his smile and looked genuinely frightened, Mikuru was curled in a ball and crying, but Haruhi looked bored.

"Come on, Yuki! That's the best you could come up with! I'm disappointed in you-AHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone was screaming at this point. Suddenly the lights turned on. It was Arakawa-san.

"Oh, I'm so very sorry about that. I did not mean to scare you. I heard yelling and thought something was amiss."

Everyone had a terrified look on their faces. Mikuru was still crying and screaming.

We decided to break it up with Nagato winning. Before she left I talked to her.

"Um, Nagato. What you said back there. It isn't true, right?"

She simply stared at me with those almond shaped eyes. She then turned around and walked upstairs.

I think I'm going to lock the door tonight.

* *

I couldn't get to sleep that night. I looked at the clock. 1:53

I opened my eyes and saw the clock. 4:18 When had I fallen asleep? I laid face up on my bed and looked directly into the eyes of Nagato.

NAGATO?!

I jumped out of my bed.

"For whatever it is I did I'm sorry! Please don't kill me Nagato!"

I then saw that Haruhi was with her.

"Huh?"

Nagato was looking puzzled and Haruhi was trying not to laugh.

"I am not her to kill you. That was simply a story. We have come for a much more pressing matter."

Which is?

"Mikuru-chan and your sister are missing!" Haruhi said.

What?!

* *

We woke up Koizumi and started walking around guided by Nagato's flashlight.

We looked all over he castle and wound up in the only hall we hadn't looked down.

We were walking along and the flashlight started to flicker on and off. Suddenly, it turned off. Now we were in the dark.

"Hold on. I got it." Koizumi said.

We heard him bang it against the wall a few times and soon the light came back on.

"That's better."

It wasn't. When he pointed the light ahead, Nagato was standing there with a knife. I saw behind her, the blood covered bodies of both Mikuru and my little sister. I was frozen in terror as Nagato made her move.

She rushed forward and I heard Haruhi scream. Blood landed on my face. Then I heard Koizumi scream and the light fall. Nagato took the light and pointed it at me. She got right in front of me and held the bloody knife.

"Nagato..."

"I'm sorry."

She then plunged the knife into my chest.

…

…

…

…

I didn't feel anything. Then I heard snickering. The lights turned on and everyone was alive and laughing.

It looked down and saw Nagato holding the knife. She then stabbed herself with it and the blade fell into the handle.

"It is fake."

But the blood?

"Ketchup."

"I can't believe you fell for it Kyon!" Haruhi said between laughs.

Everyone was laughing.

"You were all in on it?"

"Uh-huh."

"All this was a prank?"

"Yep. It was Nagato's idea."

…

"That was really not funny. You could have given me a heart attack!"

"Sorry, but we couldn't pass up the chance."

I then noticed I was laughing a bit too. Well, it was a pretty thought out prank.

"Okay, guys. You got me. I'm going back to bed."

I got whatever little sleep I could that night.

* *

The next day was pretty uneventful. Everyone was still laughing from last night and we all got packed up. I got my clothes and my guitar and set in by everyone else's stuff.

I spent the rest of the day helping everyone clean up. After that, it was time to go and we all got back to the airport and boarded the airplane.

Everyone was pretty much wiped out and slept the entire time so that was pretty good.

When we got back, we took the tram and gathered at the cafe. It was still early here so we were dismissed with a yawn from Haruhi.

I got home and collapsed into my bed.

When I woke up around lunchtime I ate and unpacked my stuff. I spent the rest of that day and Sunday practicing mu guitar.

Overall, this was a pretty fun weekend. I'm glad I went.

* *

At school the next day, I got to the club room and saw about 5 new pictures on the board, including everyone covered in ketchup in a posed picture. Who keeps putting these things up?

**End of Episode 5**

**End of Season 1**

**Author's Note:** That's it! For now anyway. I needed to finish this thing up quick so I hope it's satisfactory. I've got a few other ones I haven't update in forever so I need to work on those. I'm not completely stopping here though. I'll be adding Omakes and Extra Stories that didn't quick make it into the main story. Remember!

**Season 2 Begins December 2009!**

Ja ne~


	13. Extra 1

**Author's Note:** This is the first of my extra stories! Now, extra stories are different from Omakes. Omakes are satiric extras people add to a story for humors sake, Extra Stories are chapters that weren't in the main season, but are part of the story nonetheless and may also be slightly sillier than other chapters.. So, please consider the following, and all other Extra Chapters to be part of the main story. I must warn you though, they will be shorter than regular chapters. Enjoy!

* *

**Extra 1: White Day**

It was the middle of March and it felt still a bit cold out lately. Although, after the last few months, that was the least of my problems.

Of course, when I got to class, I saw Haruhi's Million-watt smile that made me feel a bit sick to my stomach. But, she had a good reason for it. Today was White Day. I still remember last month when her, Asahina-san, and Nagato stayed up all night and made chocolates for me and Koizumi.

This was after, of course, she made us dig for two days straight for something that I had already dug up and given to Tsuruya. But, it was for the sake of the space-time continuum, so I couldn't really do anything about it.

Yare yare.

When the bell rang for lunch, Haruhi rocketed out of the classroom. Ugh. She's probably expecting something now. Unfortunately for me, I didn't plan on giving them my gifts until this afternoon, because this morning, I really didn't feel like lugging stuff up the hill and rented a locker instead.

When I did show up empty-handed, Haruhi just scowled at me. I swear that scowl could curdle water.

Koizumi also showed up empty-handed, but Haruhi didn't really seem to care. Sigh.

* *

After the final bell rang, it was me who rocketed out of the room with Haruhi-like speed, which left her dumbfounded. I knew that if I showed up again empty-handed, and late, she would probably hang me on the doer with a sign around my neck saying 'This is an example." And that would really suck.

After getting my gifts, I ran into Koizumi who was walking down the hill, and me, not paying attention where I was going, bumped into him. The stuff fell, and he helped me pick it up.

"Wait, why are you here, Koizumi? Did Haruhi already dismiss?"

"No,no, actually I have work to do."

"What'd ya get them?"

"Nothing, actually."

You suck.

"Honestly, Suzumiya-san is only expecting something from you. She just expects me to sit at the table and agree with her."

So basically you're her bitch?

"Pretty much."

That's sad.

"Yes, I know."

"Well, good luck with whatever you're doing."

"Yes, see you tomorrow."

And with that, I headed back to the school.

* *

When I went inside the clubroom, Haruhi had another scowl for about three seconds until she saw I was carrying stuff.

"I knew you were holding out!"

Shut up.

I passed out the presents and watched them unwrap them.

For Asahina-san, I got her a bag I thought she might like. I looked like an animal, but you couldn't ask me which one.

She thought it was cute and thanked me for it. She then set it on the table.

For Nagato, since I remembered how much fun she had had with that computer game, and that she usually read sci-fi novels, I got her a few video games and some large books that I thought she might enjoy, plus a pair of bunny earphones that were in case she wanted to play them here.

The reason they were bunnies, was well, they were the last on stock.

Her reaction was a simple nod in my direction. For a second I thought I saw a glimpse of a smile, but that couldn't be.

For Haruhi, and I swear, this was the only thing I could think of, a certificate to buy 5000 yen worth of costumes from the local shop.

At realizing what it was, Asahina-san tensed up a little bit. Sorry.

Haruhi turned it over and something fell off.

She picked it up and looked at it.

Her face went white and she looked at me strangely.

"Did you write this note?"

"Note? I didn't write any note."

"Oh."

She looked at the paper again, crumbled it up and threw it in the waste basket. She then, hurriedly, got her stuff and left without another word.

Now I was interested.

I went over to the waste basket, took out the paper, uncrumbled it and read it.

_Don't lose hope._

_-John Smith_

What?! That-that-that-that doesn't make any sense! I'm John Smith! How,how,how, wait.

I remember that Koizumi helped me pick up the gifts after I bumped into him.

Did he write this? And if he did, why?

After that, Nagato closed her book with a snap, signaling that it was time to go.

* *

Since I had actually got quite a few things for Nagato, I offered to help her get it home and she accepted. When I put her stuff down and was leaving she said a simple "Thank you." and I left.

After that, I went home and played my guitar for a few hours until I fell asleep.

I had a feeling that before the month was over, I would do something incredibly stupid. Ah, well.

**End of Extra 1**

**Author's Note:** And that's the first one! And if you are wondering, yes, those presents are based on other fan fics. I just thought it was kind of funny for Kyon to get them things like that and added it. I would give a shout-out, but so many other people use them, it's not even worth it. Well, Ja ne~


	14. Omake 1

**Author's Note: **This is my first Omake, so please for the love of God, don't flame.

* *

**Omake 1**

* *

**Random Events**

I got to the club room late today and knew I'd get a mouthful from Haruhi, but when I got there, she wasn't there.

In fact, no one was.

Except for one person.

"Nyoro~"

I heard come from beneath the table.

For some reason I felt like I should leave now before something weird happens, but went against that logic and instead, looked under the table.

Beneath it, was both Tsuruya and chibi-fied Tsuruya, wrestling over a block of smoked cheese.

I was utterly shocked.

They saw I was there and just stared at me, like a deer does before it gets hit by a car.

All was silent.

Suddenly the door slide open and that weird kid, Shinichi, walked in.

"Can I be a part of the show now?"

"What show?" I asked.

Another silent moment.

At that point Mikuru floated by tied a number of balloons with a terrified look on her face, yelling, "Don't break the fourth wall!"

Then she left.

More silence.

At that point, Koizumi walked in, took one look at what was happening, and left.

More silence.

A few moments later, he came back in dressed in a full tuxedo, complete with a top hat and cane.

"I've been waiting for my sanity to leave me, and it appears it has."

He then broke into full song and dance.

That was when Nagato ran into the room, pulled a giant anvil out of nowhere, and smacked Koizumi with it, firing him out through the window and into the stratosphere.

She then sat down and began reading like nothing had happened.

More silence.

Then the chibi Tsuruya jumped out from under the table, smoked cheese in hand.

"Now I shall rule the world!"

Then she ran off.

Tsuruya jumped out as well and ran after yelling, "No! Only I can rule Cheese World!"

More silence.

Wait a minute, why am I narrating?

You're the writer! Do something for a change!

'No. Be quiet.'

Never!

'It was then that Asakura jumped through the window and chased him out of the room, army knife in hand.'

"What?"

"Hello, Kyon."

"Shit!"

'And that happened.'

'Haruhi then walked into the room and saw the utter chaos. She shrugged, took her seat, and sighed deeply.'

"I wonder how I can blame Kyon for this?"

**The End**

**Author's Note:** Hurray for random activities that do not pertain to anything in general! And smoked cheese! Do not mess with Churuya people! Anyway, I'll be starting Season 2 pretty soon. Maybe next week sometime. Anyway, Ja ne!


	15. Episode 13

**Author's Note:** Behold! Season 2! A plotline shall become apparent shortly.

* *

**Season 2: Episode 1**

**New and Old Faces**

Today was a new day and all-in-all, I was very anxious.

Ya see, today was the first day Nagato would be coming back to school after the Camel Cricket attack and her upgrade.

Her upgrade basically allowed her to...convey her emotions more. So really, she was more like an average teenage girl. An average teenage girl who also happened to be a data manipulating alien.

But that's beside the point.

She had been out a few days 'sick' to get used to her new upgrade. Me, Koizumi, Mikuru, Tsuruya, and her had had multiple meetings and had come upon a compromise.

Basically, to everyone else, it would seem like she decided to open up more with people.

This was really the only way we think think of without Haruhi becoming suspicious or something.

So yeah, we're all a bit on edge to her reaction.

* *

When I got to the classroom, I'm pretty sure Haruhi noticed my stress levels. Especially when, I felt an all too familiar dull jab that could only come from Haruhi's mechanical pencil.

"What's up with you?"

"Huh?"

"You seem distracted by something."

"Do I?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Nothing really."

"Yeah well, try to feel better."

Is she actually trying cheer me up?

"If you don't, it'll only get in the way of the club."

Of course not. Well, at least she isn't doing something drastic like when she banged my head against her desk. I had a welt from that for a week.

When lunch came around, she exploded from the classroom as usual.

I grabbed my lunch and headed to the clubroom.

When I got there, I saw an unusual sight.

Sure, Nagato was sitting in her usual chair, reading a book, but Koizumi and Mikuru were there too.

"Where's Tsuruya?"

"She didn't come in today. She caught a cold or something."

"Ah."

I took a seat and Koizumi pulled out the Othello board from Hammerspace or something.

As we played and ate, it really didn't seem like any other day. But I knew that wasn't right.

Every now and then I got bored and tried to see what Nagato was reading.

I looked over and saw she was staring at me too.

Something weird happened then.

She looked away like normal, but I could see the tips of her ears turn slightly red.

Yeah, weird right?

About halfway through the third game, Haruhi came in looking slightly calmer than normal.

She sat down at her computer and started surfing on the web or something.

The lunch period passed pretty slowly and it was kinda nice.

When Haruhi finished eating, she left us to what we were doing.

I wonder what's up with her lately. She seems to be in a worse mood than usual.

"Hey Koizumi?"

"Yes?"

"Has Haruhi been making more Closed Spaces than usual or something?"

"No, not that I know of. What's with the sudden interest in my job?"

"Nothing, she just seems kind of like she usually does when something's on her mind. Are you sure?"

"Positively. But I'll check with my superior's about this later."

And that was that.

The bell rang and we headed to back to our classes.

* *

The end of the day rolled around and I made my way back to the clubroom. At least, if I hadn't been interrupted by someone.

"Kyon-senpai!"

Huh?

I turned around and saw a certain freshmen with jet black hair, ahoge bobbing.

"Kyon-senpai!"

"Uh...you're Shinichi, right?"

"Yes,yes! I'm honored that you remembered me!"

This kid has some serious issues.

"Well, what do you want?"

"Well, you remember when I tried to join?"

Of course I do. I can still remember how fast you tore out of the clubroom.

"Yes, well, it's about that."

Here we go.

"I really want to join you guys!"

Sigh.

"So I need to ask."

"Ask what?"

"How can I get on Suzumiya-sama's good side?!"

Oh, I get it now.

"Hey Shinichi."

"Yes?"

"Do you have a crush on Haruhi?"

His face went very red and he sputtered.

"W-what?! N-n-no! No! Kyon-senpai, I would never try to take her from you."

…..Wait, what?!

"Huh? You think...me and Haruhi?!"

"Yes. I've heard all the rumors. And according to them, you and Suzumiya-sama are going out."

If I get a hold on whoever started this, I will kill them!

"Listen kid, no, me and Haruhi are not going out. Ever. Not in a million years. You got that?"

"U-um, s-sure Kyon-senpai."

This kid stutters a lot.

"But, I need your help. I've heard that you are the only one she listens to, and I really must join your club. Let me guess, that one isn't true either?"

Actually....

"So you'll help me?!"

This kid has personal space issues.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll help you."

"Hurray! Thank you so much, Kyon-senpai!"

"On three conditions."

"What? Anything. Just name it."

"Okay. First, step back, and don't get that close to me ever again."

He immediately backed away to normal 'elbow room' distance.

"Second, when we get there, stand still, shut up, and do what I say."

"Yes, sir!"

"Oh, and third, stop with the damn honorifics. They're kinda annoying."

"Yes, Kyon!"

Sigh. I hate that nickname so damn much!

"That isn't my name!"

"It isn't? But everyone calls you that."

Damn. I didn't need to know that.

"Then what is your name?"

I tell him my real name and he looked as if he was deep in thought, with his ahoge bouncing.

"Hmm. Okay, if that is what you want, I will use your real name."

...Wait, really? No one uses my real name. My liking of this guy just went up about 40%.

"But is it okay if I call you Kyon sometimes?"

Sure, as long as you use it less than my real name.

"Now, let's go, Haruhi should be in the clubroom by now."

"Yes, sir!"

* *

He walked behind me as I guided him to the clubroom.

I knocked like always and went in.

"Kyon, you're late!"

"Yeah, yeah, I have a reason."

"Oh, really? And what would that be?"

I step aside to reveal Shinichi behind me.

It was like someone turned off all the world's noise.

We all stood there in silence.

"YOU!"

Haruhi then jumped over her table and grabbed Shinichi by the collar and hoisted him into the air.

"You dare show your face here again after what you said?!"

Oh yeah, did I mention that Haruhi's still pissed from the last time he was here. Because she is.

Well, time to play referee.

"Haruhi, put him down."

"Never! I'll throttle him!"

I tried to separate but to no avail.

I look around the room for any sign of help.

I didn't see any.

I eventually get Haruhi off of him long enough to get a few words in.

"Haruhi stop! He's with me!"

She immediately went from her violent anger to the quiet anger she used only for me, aren't I special?

"And why did you bring him here?"

"He wants to join."

"I already said no!"

"Why? You should be thrilled to find someone who shares your beliefs!"

I could see on her face that she was trying to come up with a reason, but she couldn't.

"Exactly. He seems nice enough, why not let him join?"

She had her thinking face on. That can't be good.

Finally, she had a small 'ah-hah' moment.

"Okay, he can join."

I heard a small 'hooray' from behind me.

"If,"

And there it is.

"there is a majority rules vote. The SOS Brigade is very democratic."

Sounds to me like you made it up on the spot.

"Shut up! It doesn't matter what you think!"

Uh-huh.

"Okay, I don't want him here, so that's one vote for my ruling. You want him here, so it's tied. Since Tsuruya isn't here, I'm counting that as a vote for my side."

Cheater.

"Okay, Koizumi, do say 'yay' or 'nay'?"

"I think another addition to this fine club is always welcome. I'm for this."

Koizumi, even when you're on my side you still sound a bit pompous.

"Yuki-chan?"

She looked up from her book for a second. She simply looked at Shinichi.

"I vote yes."

She then looked back at her book.

Haruhi had a little scowl on her face now.

"Mikuru-chan?"

I turned to her, and saw something unusual.

Mikuru was glaring at Shinichi.

I don't know why, but that scared me a little.

"Mikuru-chan?"

She kept glaring.

"Mikuru!"

She snapped out of it.

"Huh? What?"

"Do you want this kid to join the club?"

"Oh, uh, sure I guess."

I heard another 'hooray' from Shinichi.

"Aggh!! Undermined by my own members. Fine, you can join.

And that was when Shinichi went into overdrive.

He burst into the room giving his thanks to everyone, talking very fast, and moving so fast that he was making Tsuruya look normal.

"Hold it!"

I swear it was like all of the momentum in his body disappeared.

"I still don't like you. So you're not a full member yet. Think of yourself as an auxiliary member. You can come to meetings and such, but not the important stuff like projects and trips. But, earn enough points and I'll make you a full-fledged member."

Again with the points? I thought you'd stopped that already. Oh, well, doesn't matter to me.

"Okay Suzumiya-sama! I will do my best to become a member!"

"Well, I'm going home now. Whoever's out last, be sure to lock up."

She grabbed her bag and left.

"I will leave as well, as I have important matters to attend to!"

Shinichi then burst from the room and I think I saw him running across the ceiling for a few seconds.

That kid needs some Ritalin.

With both of those people gone, everyone seemed to relax more.

The day ended like usual, with Nagato snapping shut her book.

Everyone else had already left though.

"Hey, Nagato."

"Yes?"

"Do you have anymore books I can borrow?"

She reached into her bag and retrieved a large hardback and slide it over to me.

It was a story I'd never heard of. It looked to be fantasy. It was called Brave Story.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

It was nice to have normal conversations with her and them not becoming long speeches about the meaning of life or something. I tucked the book into my bag.

Nagato left and I locked up.

* *

When I got home, I did a little songwriting and some reading.

The book was actually very good for a story so long.

After supper I basically fell asleep playing like I do most days.

**End of Episode 1**

**Author's Note:** Hello all! I wanted this to be a minor plot point introduction. You'll see what for later on. Oh, and the book Kyon's borrowing is an actual book. Look it up. It's my favorite book in the whole world! Read it sometime, you won't regret it. Hurray for product placement! Ja ne~!


	16. Episode 19

**Author's Note: **Thank you for the wait! Any who, here it is! The band episode! I do not own any songs that appear in this chapter. They are all character songs you can find on the internet.

* *

**Season 2-Episode 7**

**Musical Accompaniment**

* *

"Yahoo!"

This cannot end well.

We had just finished the rather strenuous ordeals of making the sequel and my legs are still killing me.

And by just finished, I mean 3 minutes ago.

"We're done! We're done everyone! This movie is bound to be bigger than the last! We'll rake in so much money!"

You do realize this is non-profit, right?

"Be quiet. Anyway, this is not all we are doing for the Cultural Fest this year!"

Oh no.

"Yep! We're going to do something so totally awesome!"

Please. Not that.

"We're going to perform as a band!"

Dammit!

I knew this would happen when she found out I could play the guitar!

Oh well. It's my fault anyway.

"And even better, everyone has to perform to your fullest duties! That means not only playing, but also writing and performing a song you write!"

….I have no response.

Sure, I already write songs, and I think I sing pretty well.

But the idea of Haruhi forcing me to do it.

Well, it just isn't my thing.

"But first, who here can play what? We already know Kyon, Yuki, and me can play guitar, but I want to throw in some variety!"

Tsuruya threw up her hand with boundless energy.

"I cans play the fiddle!"

"Really?"

"Yep! I'm megas good at it too!"

"Okay, Koizumi, Mikuru, you play anything?"

"I can play the drums pretty well." Koizumi said.

"Um, I um, I can play the keyboard okay, I guess." Mikuru said.

"Excellent! Yuki, do you know how to play anything else other than guitar?"

She probably knows how to play a didgeridoo.

She just simply nods her head.

"Awesome! Since it's getting pretty late, we should probably dismiss. Tsuruya, can we use your house tomorrow?"

"Sure! It'll be megas fun!"

"Great! Dismissed!"

About halfway home, I realize something.

Haruhi _asked_ Tsuruya if we could use her house, instead of just waltzing the next morning.

I guess Koizumi was right about Haruhi after all.

She is changing for the better.

* *

Luckily, I don't live very far from Tsuruya's place, so I decided to get there early, just to see if I could.

I unchained by bike, tied my guitar to the back, and rode off.

When I got there, Haruhi was already there.

How in the world is it that she always gets here before me?

Oh, yeah, that's why.

You see, recently, I had figured out that Haruhi has actually lived next door to me for several years.

And yes, it was awkward.

And yes, I met her parents.

And yes, that was awkward as well.

Oh, well.

I pulled up and Haruhi greeted me the usual Haruhi way.

Yelling at me and breaking my spirit.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting?!"

Five minutes?

"Uhh, no! Of course not!"

Sure.

"Oh shut up. Any way, Tsuruya's getting stuff ready. Go help her."

"Why me?"

"Because she's our friend, I have to stand out here and tell people where to go, and because I said so!"

_Yes_, Ms. Haruhi. _Whatever_ you say.

I chain my bike and walk inside.

I don't know why, but it seems bigger in here since I was here last spring. Weird.

I hear Tsuruya's usual laughing and follow it.

When I find her, her and Mikuru are sitting at a table drinking tea, laughing and chatting like sisters.

"Oh! Kyon-kun, you're heres!"

Tsuruya runs over to me like a bullet.

"We've been waiting for another person! It's only the two of us right now."

"But, Haruhi's outside."

"She is? She hasn't come in yet."

"Okay. She said something about you needing help set up?"

"Oh! No, we're already done."

"Cool. So, where can I put my guitar?"

"Go downs the hall, third door on yours right."

"'Kay."

I find the room she was talking about and nearly dropped my guitar in awe.

The place was huge!

It had every instrument I've ever heard of, and some I didn't recognize.

I laid my guitar next to a row of much more expensive looking guitars.

I felt a little embarrassed by being in here.

I left and went back to where Tsuruya and Mikuru were.

Apparently while I was gone, Nagato got here.

She passed me, turned her head in my direction, then continued walking.

Sometimes I wished I knew what she was thinking.

I noticed she was carrying a guitar case as well.

I wonder how Haruhi's going to react to that.

I got back, sat down, and was handed a cup of tea.

Nagato came back and also got a cup of tea.

She didn't have a book this time, which kind of threw me off balance, but it wasn't by much.

Instead, she just sort of stared at a spot on the wall behind me.

Koizumi arrived carrying drumsticks, and followed the same path.

Haruhi didn't come though. Which was a tad bit odd, and nice at the same time.

All in all, it was pretty peaceful.

Tsuruya actually seemed pretty calm, Mikuru didn't stutter the entire time she talked, Nagato tried to get into the conversation, but didn't follow for very long, and Koizumi didn't get on my nerves at all, even though he was smiling. But it seemed this wasn't one of his fake smiles.

This one actually seemed genuine.

Then I thought,'Would it be like this if we'd never even met Haruhi in the first place? Would we be friends at all? Would we even talk to each other? Would we even see each other?'

In that moment, I truly thanked Haruhi for her eccentricities. For without them, none of us would have this level of friendship.

I was at peace for the first time since I'd actually met Haruhi.

That was, until she actually showed up.

"Alright everyone! What's going on? Scoot over Kyon!"

She then pushed me out of her way and took my spot at the table.

This caused me to spill my tea everywhere.

"Kyon you idiot! That could have spilled on me!"

Inconsiderate little-sigh

What difference does it make?

I clean off everything that had tea spilled on it with Koizumi's help and we continued our meeting.

We walked to the music room and Haruhi pulled out her guitar.

It actually suited her.

The base was a shattered glass effect with fire behind it, and on the neck, the inlays were shaped like stars, the knobs were normal except for the stars drawn on them. She turned it around and displayed the large SOS Brigade logo on the back.

Of course.

Nagato got her guitar out. It was actually a bass instead of a regular electric.

The base was a light blue color with her name printed on it in Kanji, with snow in the background, each of her inlays were snowflakes and the pick in her strings also had a snowflake on it.

It was actually pretty wicked looking.

Mikuru was already behind her keyboard, which was pretty standard looking.

Koizumi pulled out his sticks, which had a flame graphic on it.

Tsuruya had gotten her fiddle and got her bow ready.

I got out my electric from its case.

It was a double neck guitar. A Gibson.

It was pure white, and my prized possession.

Everyone seemed to stare for a moment, then turned back to Haruhi.

Upon seeing the guitar, Haruhi's eyes seemed to light up a bit.

Oh, crap. I really need to learn to hold back.

"Okay everyone, we're going to see what everyone has. Then we'll work from there. I'll go first."

Haruhi pulled her pick from her pocket, which also had the logo on it, hooked up to an amp, and started playing.

I recognized the tune from one of the songs she played last year.

You can say what you will about her, but Haruhi is very good at the guitar.

When she finished, she made a gesture for someone to start.

Tsuruya took this cue and start playing.

It was fast, and it was awesome.

It sounded like something you wound hear if you went to a festival in America.

Koizumi had taken a seat at one of the drum sets, and when Tsuruya stopped playing, Koizumi began beating.

He, admittedly, was a lot better than I thought he'd be. Which didn't surprise me too much.

He stopped and Mikuru started playing on her keyboard.

She had it on standard, and wasn't too bad.

When she was playing, I noticed, she seemed to have absolute confidence in herself, which was rarely ever seen.

She switched between different instruments to show off her talent.

When she finished, Nagato started.

Her song, was very...unique.

It was so fast, I could barely see her fingers, she had her eyes closed, like she was concentrating.

The ebbs and flows of the notes made the song hauntingly beautiful.

When she stopped, I forgot it was my turn, and stood there dumbfounded.

"Hey Kyon!"

"Huh?"

"It's your turn."

"Oh, right, sorry. Okay, I haven't played on this thing in a few months, so sorry if I mess up a little. Here I go."

I place my fingers on the top neck and start playing.

I took it slow at first, then continued to speed up.

About halfway through the song, I noticed I was humming the lyrics.

Thank god for Led Zeppelin.

By the end, I was full on belting the lyrics to "Stairway to Heaven."

I stopped suddenly when I opened my eyes to see everyone, even Nagato, looking at me with their mouths open.

I stood there for a second embarrassed.

"What? Too much?"

Everyone stood speechless.

"Hello?"

I waved my hands in front of people. They didn't respond, so I did what I usually do in these situations.

I turned the amp up to 10, put in ear plugs, and slammed on the E cord.

Everyone snapped out of it and held their ears in pain.

"Sorry, you guys were zombies. Had to do something."

"Grr. How dare you do that to your Brigade leader?!"

"What? Slam the E string?"

"No! Well, yes but. How dare you upstage your leader?!"

I wouldn't call it upstaging.

Okay, yes I would.

"Sorry. You told us to show you what we could do, and that's what I can do."

"Yeah, well, you don't have to be a show-off about it."

"Sorry."

"Yes, well, after seeing what everyone can do, I'd have to say, I've got a talented little brigade here. Now then, we're going to test your song-writing abilities."

"Why?"

"Because, Kyon, I've already said we're going to write and perform our own songs!"

Right. I'd forgotten that part.

Oh, well.

That's why I carry my songs around.

"And I will only accept songs I see you write!"

Of course. Whatever.

Pens and paper were handed out, and we began.

* *

A few hours passed and we all got done, and I have to say, I'm quite proud of myself on this one.

I'd say it nicely rounds up my time spent with the SOS Brigade.

We handed in our music to Haruhi, who looked over them.

When she got done, she let us show her what we could make them sound like.

She went first.

"This is just one of the songs I wrote. Parallel Days."

She then started playing a playful tune that was actually kind of catchy.

"Mieru hazu nai anzen-sugiru hito ni ha Atashi ni nara kitto wakaru Odoroitari shinai Dare demo ii wa issho ni ikeru hito nara Hoka no koto ha hotte okinasai Reberu hikui no iya Motto kokoro mawashite! Hoka no shinpai nanka ha Marude kankei nai hodo tsuyoi atashi da mon Oide wasurecha dame wasurecha dame Mirai ha parareru Doon to yatte minakerya Tadashii? Ikenai? Wakaranai! Saisho dake yo saisho dake yo Naretara karafuru sotto tanoshinderu Nanimo ka mo kagayaku no yo" She stopped at this point. "I don't want to take forever, so who wants to go next?" Tsuruya couldn't get up fast enough. I blinked and she had her violin against her chin, bow on her strings and started playing something very interesting. "Megas Curiosity."

She directly contradicted her usual hyper attitudes with a slow even note pattern.

"Hiru no yasumi ni madoromu atashi ga kiiteru Sawagi no chuushin ha douse aitsura sa Me wo tojinagara kuchimoto yurunde kurunda Tsugi ni hajimaru no ha donna koto darou? Kotori ga hashaide tonde iku you da yo Omoshirosou da na Okite miyou ka hottokou ka? Mainichi nani ga atte atama kakaetemo Tekitoo jiken owatte Minna otsukaresan! Atashi mo douyara mushi ha dekinaku natta no sa Binbou kuji wo hiita hito wo nagusameyou! Jugyouchuu ni kangaeru mondai yori ka ha Fukuzatsu na koto sa ne kitto aitsura ha Rouka ni detara itsumo no tsumujikaze sugite Oya oya hageshii na tama nya tetsudau ka Tokei ga sakasa ni mawatta to shitemo Sore sae imi aru ki ni naru mono sa Kansatsuchuu!"

She stopped with that, exhaled, and put her usual smile back on her face.

"I'll go next." Koizumi said. "But I will need Asahina-san's help since I can't play it by drums alone."

"O-okay."

They got into position and started playing.

If Haruhi wasn't an idiot, this song probably would have tipped her off on somethings that go on without her knowing.

"Twisted Spectacle."

It was an erratic intro with Mikuru having her keyboard on Trumpet.

"Doko kara setsumei-shimashou ka Kawari yuku genjitsu no naka de Koko ni deaeru boku-tachi sae Setsuna no yume naraba Ushirometaku nai kurai tanoshimi wo kanjitemo Warui koto ni ha naranai deshou Just a Spectacle! Odoyaka naru sekai yori ha O-niai desu yo ne Toki ni heisa kuukan de no boku ha kageki deshou ka? Houkai ha tometai no desu Kimi wo miteru to..."

Dammit Koizumi, stop while you're behind.

I'm mostly amazed he can sing while pounding on those drums.

You have to admit, he's got a lot of focus.

They put up their stuff and Nagato went next.

She looked to Tsuruya, and she got up with her violin.

I was honestly wondering what her singing voice sounded like.

"Snow, Silence, By The Window."

"Oto mo nai sekai ni Maiorita I was snow Nanika ga kowarete nanika ga umareru Kurikaeshi muda na koto sae Yamenai hito-tachi fushigi na hito-tachi Nagameru watashi mo fukumareta Hodokenai mondai nado ari ha shinai to Shittetemo fukuzatsu na dankai ga monogatari tsukutte iku Watashi ni mo tada hitotsu no ganbou ga moteru nara Kioku no naka saisho kara wo hon ni shite madobe de yomu Peeji ni ha akai shirushi arawarete odoridasu Tsuraresou da to omou nante douka shiteru keredo Kinjirareta waado wo tsubuyakeba saigo..."

That was just.....wow.

That performance totally blew everyone away.

Her guitar work seemed flawless, same as her voice.

Which, from a Data Entity, wasn't all too surprising, but still.

I guess since nobody was moving, I'd go next.

I grabbed my guitar and hooked up.

I decided to just start playing without any lyrics.

I'm pretty sure if Haruhi heard me sing the actual lyrics to this song, or even the name, she would kill me. Or not. I'm not sure which is worse.

Anyway, the song is called 'My Fatigued Life Returns.' Which basically describes my daily life of having to keep an eye on what Haruhi does at all times, and how I get little to no help from anyone. Sigh.

Well, Haruhi actually liked the strangeness of my song's rhythm.

Oh well, at least she didn't hear the messages of the song.

I don't think I'll perform that at the Culture Fest.

It was Mikuru's turn now.

She got her keyboard ready again.

"Um, Find A Happy Life."

She closed her eyes and a large smile appeared on her face.

She started playing an upbeat, happy tone that fit her personality to a tee.

"yan yan yan chyobitto

yan yan yan chimitto kawaru kawaru mirai nara ganbarimashyou ne yaruki no POOZU run run run hashitte run run run dojitte watashi watashi nande deshyou; megenaidemotto hibi wo [eieio-] desu ashita mezashi kokoro jyunbishite ue wo muita no ue wo muitano oshiete ohoshi sama mawaru sekai wo douka BIKARI BIKARI kazatte isshyoukenmai tetsudaimasu konna doryouku no yoru mo fui no jiko de dainashi soredemo itsuka ai ga miete kuruwo Happy Life!"

She stopped and everyone seemed to be smiling.

Her song had been positively cute.

It seemed like something you would hear from a character like her from some Anime would sing.

After she got done, Haruhi looked at me pleadingly. If I said yes, I knew what she would do, so I simply shook my head, which made her pout a bit.

Ah yes, I'm so glad I can cause her some inner turmoil that wouldn't lead to Closed Space.

Other than that, Haruhi seemed very pleased by our performances.

Which meant only one thing.

We would all be pressured to do better.

"That was really good guys." said Haruhi with a smile on her face. "But..."

Here we go.

"I think we could do better." She said with the energy of a supernova.

"Come on Haruhi, we worked our butts off on this stuff, give us a break here."

"No excuses! We are going to get better, and when the Culture Fest rolls around, we will be remembered as the best performance this school's ever heard!"

Haruhi, there's a little thing called 'limits.' We all have them, even you, whether or not you want to acknowledge it.

"Now then, let's go!"

* *

We worked well into the night working and reworking our music. I must have played the same song at least 30 times.

While it was hard work, it was admittedly a lot of fun.

I love playing and this was the most I've played in the last few years.

We worked together and even divided up our music sheets between us, and in some cases, our lyrics, and got into a nice sync that really worked.

By the end of the night, we'd memorized each song and when we left, I couldn't stop humming the more upbeat song Tsuruya started playing halfway through the night.

Haruhi dismissed us and we left.

I unchained my bike and went ahead of Haruhi who stayed to help Tsuruya put things up.

When I got home, I took my guitar back into the house.

My little sister welcomed me home with her usual greeting by shoving Shamisen in my face and asking why I was out so late, which devolved into her asking which one of the girls in the club I went on a date with.

I just ignored her like I always do and put up my guitar.

I was pretty exhausted, but I felt really good.

I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face.

**End of Episode 7**

* *

**Author's Note:** Again, I do not own any of these songs. Although, they are very good and I suggest you listen to them. You won't regret it. Ja Ne!


	17. Episode 23

**I don't own it, but I wish I did.**

**Author's Note:** I've been coming up for this for a while, and since I recently heard that The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya is being made into a movie, I wanted to do this as soon as possible. This is from Yuki's POV. Have fun!

* *

**Season 2-Episode 11**

**A Day in the Life of Yuki Nagato**

I wake up at exactly 7:00:00 A.M.

This is exactly 8 hours of sleep.

I get out of bed and bathe.

After wards I get dressed and make breakfast.

It takes 30 minutes to prepare a proper sized breakfast and 15 minutes to consume.

While such things as nourishment and sleep are not necessary for me, I have seemed to fall into a habit of doing these things. All the things that eating and sleeping replace for humans, are done for me by the Data Integrated Thought Entity.

I look around the room.

I then noticed something painfully obvious.

I was alone.

And not just alone.

I felt...lonely.

Why am I having these thoughts?

I should not be having these thoughts anymore.

I decide to ignore them and prepare for school.

I grab my bag, pull out the book I had read the day before and placed it on the 'Read' shelf.

I then walk over to the 'Unread' shelf and grab one at random.

Instead of one coming loose, a second one falls.

I stare at it for a second.

For some reason, instead of putting it back on the shelf, I place it in my bag with the other book.

Before I leave, I feel I have forgotten something.

I realize what it is and get it.

It is the headphones Kyon had gotten for me on White Day. The ones shaped like rabbits.

Although no one else could notice, I loved these things. I wonder if he knew.

They made me feel...normal again.

I put them inside my bag, went through the door, and locked it behind me.

* *

I walk down the street.

It was the middle of December and was very cold.

But I like the brisk, cleanness of the cold breeze.

I see other people from North High.

Even some people who were in my class.

They were walking, talking with their friends.

Laughing at jokes that may or may have not been entirely funny.

Some were couples who walked down the road, hand in hand, and sometimes, kissing.

I do not understand why they behave this way.

I do not understand.

Yet...

I am envious of them.

I wish, I yearn to remember what it means to be...human, instead of what I've become.

I wish I had someone I could walk to school with.

Someone to laugh at their dumb jokes with.

Maybe...even to be someone's girlfriend.

A certain someone's girlfriend.

But, deep down, I know.

None of these things are possible, not anymore.

And he would never notice me.

Besides, it is against my programming.

But if that is true, why do I have these thoughts in the first place?

Is this the old me, trying to return?

Or is it the upgrade?

* *

I arrive at my class.

Room 2-1.

This was the room where people who had a natural aesthetic to mathematics were placed.

I took my seat, in the last row, by the window.

I was there before all the other students.

I pulled out my book and began reading.

When I next looked up, the room was crowded.

That is, except for two exceptions.

This class was by standard terms, under the quota for students.

All the other classes held 35 people.

Class 2-1 had 33.

When the desks were chosen, I decided on a window seat just in case.

When all the students had a desk, the one directly in front of me, and the directly to the right of me, were empty.

I wish they had not been.

I feel another emotion that I have felt everyday.

Sadness.

I knew that no one could tell with me, but still.

I almost wish someone would come up to me and ask 'What's wrong?'

But I knew they wouldn't, and that saddened me further.

I burrowed deeper into my book.

With this, a few people looked my way.

Their faces were of ones of confusion.

As if they were thinking 'What is with her? Why doesn't she ever talk?'

I wish I could answer them.

I wish I could snap this book shut and walk toward them and explain why I was like I was, but, I decided against it.

I knew better by now.

Before I knew it, school was over.

I walked at my normal pace and arrived at the clubroom.

My clubroom.

Haruhi may have thought it was hers, but it was really mine.

My sanctuary from all my troubles of the world.

I walked to the table and pulled out a chair. I sat the chair next to the window and gazed out of it.

A few seconds later, Kyon opened the door.

"Yo, Nagato."

"Hey, Kyon."

He took a seat and sat quietly. I could tell he was staring at me.

I open my book.

I looked over to him.

I was then reminded of the second book.

Kyon looked like he was having one of his daydreams again and I got up and walked over to him.

I tapped him on the shoulder and he snapped out of it.

"What?"

"You look bored."

I hold out the book.

He stares at it for a second and then takes it.

"Thanks."

I walk back to my seat and sit down.

And wait.

I already knew that Mikuru, Tsuruya, Shinichi, and Itsuki would not be arriving today.

Neither would Haruhi. Although I did not know why.

We both sat there quietly.

I really like these silent moments.

Every now and then, as he read Kyon would think out loud like he does sometimes.

I wonder if he realizes he does this.

Apparently he was thinking about where the others were, what he thought of the book, and he was glad I remembered our promise.

Then I saw it.

What I had been waiting for.

Small frozen water molecules..

Snow.

I stood up and walked to the window.

I reached out my hand.

I wish I could take them and store them some place that they would always be pure and their beauty would be seen forever, but these were impossibilities I knew could not happen.

Kyon got up and walked to the window as well.

I wonder if he likes snow too.

For a few minutes, it was very quiet.

But it was a nice quiet.

Eventually the silence was broken by a sigh.

It wasn't a lazy sigh, but a content sigh.

Not Kyon's, but mine.

He looked at me puzzled.

"You okay, Nagato?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"You like the snow?"

"Yes. Very much."

We stood there again.

"You want to head outside?"

I turned to him.

"I would like that."

We both put on a few more layers.

I went to reach for my earmuffs, but they weren't there.

I had left them at home.

But, then I saw the headphones.

Technically, they could double as ear muffs, so I put them on instead.

When leaving the room, Kyon sees them and smiles a bit.

I liked to see him smile, much better than the scowl he usually wears whenever Haruhi's around.

I didn't understand why, but I felt...embarrassed.

We went outside and into the snow.

Kyon stared across the yard, looking at the snow, but mostly spacing out.

Me personally, I love the snow.

I always have.

Even when I was.....the way I used to be.

Before _that_ happened.

I could tell that there were tears in my eyes.

Luckily, Kyon wasn't paying attention and I wiped away my tears quickly.

I still felt sad. And lonely.

But when I'm with Kyon, I also feel something different. I feel.....happy.

"I'm ready to go back in now."

"Okay."

We went back to the clubroom.

It was getting late, and I know Kyon never leaves until I do.

"I'm going now."

"Oh, okay. Later Nagato."

I grabbed my bag and left.

* *

I was used to the late walk home now.

It was better with the snow.

The beautiful snow.

But, even with the snow, I still felt lonely.

"Nagato!"

I turned around and saw Kyon running up to me.

I stop and wait for him.

When he catches up, he is out of breath.

"I almost forgot."

"What?"

"I needed to talk to you about something."

I stood there, waiting for him to speak.

"Um, can we talk at your place. It's kind of cold out."

I nod and start walking.

He follows close behind.

What would he need to talk about with me?

We get to my apartment and I open the door.

We go inside and I turn on the light.

"Surprise!"

Haruhi, Tsuruya, Shinichi, Mikuru and Itsuki jumped out from various places with confetti and poppers.

I turn to Kyon, and he has a big smile on his face.

He pulls out a wrapped box from behind him.

"Happy Birthday Nagato."

I take the box and look around.

"What...is this?"

"It's a surprise party!"Haruhi said.

"You see, Nagato-san," Itsuki explained, "Back when you were out of school for a few days, Suzumiya-san tried to come up with a reason. It eventually got down the list to birthday, but it had already passed."

"And since we missed it last year, you get a super-awesome-blow-out-surprise party!" Haruhi said.

I looked over to the table and there was a mound of presents on it with a large cake in the center.

They moved the presents and sat me down at the table.

They lit the candles and started singing.

"ano hoshi o goran kimi o mamoru hikari  
mada momiji no you na tedatta goro  
itsudatte kimi no atama no ue ni wa  
aishite kureru hikari ga aru

Happy Birthday!  
Happy Birthday!  
Happy Birthday to you!

yagate yume o idaki hito o aishite  
donna namida o naga shite kita darou  
guuzen kimi ni deaeta koto ni  
hisoka na kanpai o shiyou

Happy Birthday!  
Happy Birthday!  
Happy Birthday to you! "

I waited a few seconds and made a quick wish before I blew out the candles.

'I wish I could be normal...like before.'

When the candles were out, everyone hurrayed and turned the lights on.

"Now you need to open the gifts!" Haruhi said.

They started handing me presents one at a time.

I open them with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

I hadn't had a birthday party since I was forced to delete Ryoko.

Ryoko...

I missed her.

She had been my friend even before...that.

Almost all the presents were open by now.

Haruhi had gotten me assorted things that she believed held supernatural influence of some sort.

Mikuru had gotten me mostly an assortment of stuffed animals. The only one I really liked was the rabbit, and I thanked her for them. I liked rabbits.

Tsuruya had gotten me various imported items that looked very expensive and imported. I thanked her and moved to the next ones. They seemed more like a rushed gift someone of her caliber would get someone, but I still accepted them. I most likely wouldn't use them, though.

Shinichi had gotten me a few large hardback book that was signed by the author. I thanked him and set them aside for later. Better, but it shows how much he pays attention.

Itsuki had gotten me a large amount of assorted books in various languages. Useful, but the same as Shinichi's.

Kyon was the only one who didn't have multiple gifts. He only had brought the small box he had pulled from behind his back when we entered.

He handed it to me with a "Happy Birthday Nagato."

It was a jewelery box.

I opened it and unintentionally gasped.

"What? Don't you like it?"

"Yes. I like it very much. Thank you."

I lift it up for all to see.

It was a necklace, and the pendent was a small blue crystal snowflake. It was dazzling and sparkled in the light.

I put it on and look at everyone.

"Thank you all. Very much."

With that, everyone began doing random things.

Haruhi, Tsuruya, and Mikuru decided they were going to make cookies.

Itsuki and Shinichi browsed the book shelves.

Kyon leaned against a wall listening to the iPod he brought with him, mouthing the words to the song he was listening to.

He then looks like he forgot something and leaves for a minute.

When he comes back, he's carrying his guitar case.

Haruhi notices this.

"Hey! Kyon's gonna play for us!"

"Not yet! Later though."

He sets it down by the door and takes the same place as he was before.

After a few hours, Kyon finished listening to his music and grabbed his guitar.

"I'm ready guys!" he called to everyone.

Haruhi and Mikuru passed out the fresh cookies and we sat in front of Kyon in a semi circle.

He tuned his guitar. He looked straight at me.

"Shizukesa no Yuki.(Quiet, Peaceful Snow)"

He them began a melody that fit the song's title to a tee.

It was slow and soft. This one though, had lyrics.

"Yuki, totemo shiroiro to junsui,

Yuki, totemo heion to toi,

Yuki, totemo rikai suru to ii,

Yuki, shizukesa no yuki,"

He kept singing that beautiful song.

And at that point, I knew.

He held as much love for me as I did for him.

When he finished, I almost didn't want him to.

Then I got up and walked out to the balcony.

It was cold, but I liked the cold.

I watched the small pieces of diamond dust falling from the skies.

The door to the balcony opens.

I turn to see who it is.

"Yo, Nagato."

It's Kyon.

I nod again and turn back to the snow.

"Everyone else has already left."

"Oh."

I must have lost track of time.

I could hear a voice in the back of my head, screaming, 'Tell him! Tell him now!'

"Hey, Nagato. Do you like the necklace?"

"Yes. Very much."

"Yeah. I didn't really know what you wanted. In fact, I had just gotten it when I was trying to catch up to you."

"Really."

It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you pay attention to me.

"It is...my second favorite of them."

"Second? What was the first?"

"Your song."

"Oh."

'Tell him! Tell him now! Right now!'

I turn to him.

"Kyon-"

Whatever I was about to say, I instantly forgot.

Because Kyon did something I'd always hoped he'd do.

He kissed me.

I didn't know how to react, but my body did.

I kissed him back, and I felt like I was falling.

It was broken by him pulling back.

I didn't want him to.

I wanted to stay like that forever.

Then he said something.

"Happy Birthday, Yuki-chan."

And with him saying that, calling me by my name, I suddenly felt all the emotions I had felt over the past few years rushed forth.

All the pain, sadness, embarrassment, and loneliness came and I couldn't suppress them anymore.

I could feel the tears well in my eyes and I hugged Kyon as hard as I could, sobbing into his shoulder.

He hugged me back and started comforting me.

"It's okay. Let it out."

We stayed like this for how knows how long.

We didn't need to say anything.

We both knew how the other felt.

I finally got control of myself.

"We should go back inside. It's getting colder."

"Yeah."

We came back in and sat at the table.

It wasn't awkward, more peaceful.

'Tell him! He knows you love him, but you need to tell him! It's important!'

"Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Kyon, there's something I haven't told you."

"Something you haven't told me?"

"Yes. And it's very important."

"Okay. Shoot."

"I have not been entirely truthful with you. With anyone. I have been holding secrets that I believed would only complicate things. But now that I know that I can trust you, I can tell you. But only you."

"It's that big, huh?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'm ready."

"Right then. You remember that with the first half of our first year in high school, I explained that I was a humanoid interface created by the Data Integrated Thought Entity."

"Yes. You explained that you are an alien."

"Well, this classification is not entirely accurate."

"How so?"

"I, along with all other humanoid interfaces, in fact were not created by the Data Integrated Thought Entity."

He stays quiet for a few seconds, looking as if deep in thought.

"Then who were you created by?"

"We were all created no differently than all other human beings."

"So...that means...you, along with the others like Emiri Kimidori, were born, here, on Earth?"

"Yes."

"So, that means you have a family?"

Now it was my turn to be quiet.

Not because I wanted to, but because it was hard to say.

"Yes." I choked out. "Or, at least, I used to."

The painful memories resurfaced.

And they hurt.

"What do you mean, 'used to'?"

He then examined my face carefully.

He then had a face of understanding.

"Oh. I'm, I'm so sorry Nagato."

"No need to be. It was a very long time ago. I've come to terms with their deaths. And please, keep calling me Yuki."

"Okay. So you are human?"

"Yes."

"But, I've seen you do things no human can do."

"As I've already explained, while I was born a human, I am now a humanoid interface."

"So, how'd that happen?"

"As you know, four years ago, you and Haruhi made a large symbol that called the Data Integrated Thought Entity to this planet, caused a time distortion, and gave Itsuki and the other espers powers. I have also explained that I have been an interface for those four years."

"Yes."

"Well, it is true, that I have been an interface for four years, but the Thought Entity needed interfaces when it arrived. The me you met with Mikuru on Tanabata night was in fact, the version of me that had only just become an interface. If you had arrived one day earlier, you would have met the me you met in the other world. To be more accurate, that me is the true me."

"So the the you in the other world, is what you used to be like?"

"Yes."

"But you've become more and more like that you everyday. Does that mean...you're turning back into a normal human."

"No, there are flaws in your reasoning. I am not becoming any less of an interface, but I am having some of my humanity returned. I guess the easiest way to say it is that the upgrade I received after the virus, has allowed me to express more feelings. While before, I was only capable of expressing feelings I'd been feeling when I had when I became an interface, now, I am able to express feelings that I've felt since I entered this school and knew everyone. Among those are me being able to smile, to be happy, to cry, to...love. All of these you have noticed. It has also slightly altered my speaking habits."

"Yeah, that's probably what other people notice most."

"Yes. That's one of my more obvious changes."

"Are there any other changes I should know about?"

"No, none that I'm aware, but if I do realize anymore, you'll be the first to know."

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes actually."

"You are the only one who noticed my emotions, even before my upgrade, you stare at me, you wrote me the beautiful song, you kissed me. Do you consider us...boyfriend and girlfriend?

"Of course I do. There is no doubt in my mind. I want to be your boyfriend."

I let out a long relieved sigh.

"Thank god. I was worried that this was just another birthday present, and that tomorrow it would all just go back to normal and you'd act like it never happened and I just..."

Somewhere during me saying this, I had started crying.

I then felt arms around me.

"It's okay, it's okay. I would never do that to you. Ever. Know that. Never doubt that."

He pulled away for a second and called someone.

"Hey...I need to stay...Okay...Okay...Thanks...Bye."

"Who'd you call?"

"My mom, I asked if I could stay over. She said sure."

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes, I do. You need me right now. I may get bad grades, but I'm not stupid."

He put on his jacket and tossed me mine.

He opened the door to the balcony.

"C'mon. It's not as cold as it was and it's still snowing."

I could feel a smile on my face.

I knew he was a good choice.

Sometimes, I feel he's the only one who understands me.

I put on my coat and followed him outside.

The snow still came down

The sun was down, but I could still see it.

It was cold, but that didn't matter.

I could remember always liking this season.

The cold, the breeze, but mostly the snow.

I could feel the necklace get cold with the breeze, and it felt good.

I stepped outside and looked at Kyon.

He was smiling at me.

With snow falling, and him by my side, I can't shake the feeling that everything is going to be okay.

**End of Episode 11**

**Author's Note:** Yes,yes, I realize this chapter was mostly fluff, but if you pay attention, there was character development for Yuki, and I wanted to establish this, and honestly, I'm a proud sailor of the Yuki x Kyon ship, and I don't wanna hear any crap about it. I just love this pairing, and I gave legitimate reasons for this pairing to happen if you pay close enough attention to earlier chapters. And yes, this is a major part of the story.

And yes, there may be more fluff in the future.

Oh, and that birthday song was actually the traditional birthday song in Japan.

Anyway, if you want to see the full version of Kyon's song, go to my profile.

I do make quite a few novel references, so if you don't get them, go read the novels.

I probably won't be updating for a while, so I tried to make this as long as possible.

Til next time, Ja Ne~


	18. Episode 22

**Author's Note:** Here it is! A necessary staple for anime worldwide! The Culture Fest episode!

Oh, and I lost my translator, so I'm putting the songs I wrote in english, sorry.

**Season 2-Episode 10**

**Take It Away....**

* *

I woke up earlier than usual today. Why was that?

Was it excitement? Anticipation? Or was it because I got an eardrum-busting call from Haruhi to get here early today?

I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

It seemed like a strange sight.

I found myself walking up the hill, with no one around.

Oh well, none of this is important anyway, right?

* *

When I got there, there were very few people there at all, except for the few suckers like me who got wrangled into getting here early.

But, it wasn't all that bad. At least it was quiet.

When I got to the clubroom, it was the usual sight.

Nagato was reading another book in her chair next the the computer. She was dressed in that witch's costume and had a book spread across her lap.

"Yo."

"Hey."

She's actually gotten a lot better at understanding and talking like a normal person, which for her, is a huge achievement.

It was still pretty early so I sat down and took out a book as well.

It was one of the sci-fi novels Nagato's so fond of. Called Usurper of the Sun.

After a few chapters I decided to take a break.

No one else had showed up yet and it was still very quiet.

These times for some reason kept happening more and more and when that happened, it actually made this place feel more like the Literature Club than the SOS Brigade.

That is, until she shows up.

"Alright people, we need to move!"

Sometimes I wonder where she gets all that energy.

"Alright! Today's the big day! Wait, where is everybody?!"

"Um, it's just been us so far."

"Grr. Unacceptable! When a brigade leader asks something of her brigade members, she expects them to show up! Oh well, looks like you're going to be doing all the work for now Kyon."

Crap.

* *

Turns out the 'work' Haruhi had planned, wasn't really all that difficult.

All I really had to do was hand in the movie and move some of the instruments we had left here overnight.

Haruhi had disappeared with Nagato to who-knows-where and after I got done, Shinichi and Koizumi had showed up.

"Ah, good morning Kyon."

"Good morning Kyon-sempai."

"Hey guys. You two run into Haruhi yet?"

"Not yet. But it seems you've been doing productive things."

Yeah, unlike you two.

"Well, I actually just stopped by to tell Suzumiya-san that our class's play will be starting earlier than expected."

"I'll be sure to pass on the message."

"Thank you very much."

And with that, Koizumi disappeared through the door.

Since Haruhi hadn't left any auxiliary instructions, I pulled out the old Othello board and me and Shinichi played a few rounds.

Mikuru and Tsuruya stopped by quickly to leave the same basic message for Haruhi and went their way.

When Haruhi finally got back to the clubroom, she looked to be in a bad mood.

"Where is everyone?!"

"Oh, right. They all stopped by saying they had to head on to their class stuff."

"Oh. Well, I guess we can dismiss then. Everyone, be sure to get to the gym for our performance at 1:30."

She left and so did we.

Shinichi went down to the lower floor, Nagato headed to her class, and I pretty much just wandered. I'd brought a small amount of yen so I could get some food and play a few games. It was really just like last year.

Lots of people walking around, some okay games that weren't to hard to win, and some mediocre food.

Since I had nothing better to do, I thought I'd stop in on the club members and see what they were doing.

Shinichi's class was doing some sort of animal-themed cafe that look somewhat strange, so I stayed away from there. Especially after seeing the penguin and the creepy cat suit. Way to weird.

Nagato's class was doing the same fortune-telling booth thing. Nagato seemed to have taken a step down from full-out prophecies, and stuck with vague predictions, like it was supposed to be like.

Koizumi's class was doing another play that I really didn't want to sit through.

The movie seemed to be getting a lot of business and a line had actually formed. There are way too many fanboys in this school. Sigh.

I got to Mikuru and Tsuruya's class expecting a cafe like last year, but instead they had set up a Haunted House. I was somewhat interested in this and checked it out.

It was your standard culture fest haunted house. Spring loaded snakes, people jumping out in costume, nothing too special.

I had pretty much gotten all the stuff done and was just wandering now.

I mildly wished Taniguchi and Kunikida would pop out of the crowd and rid me of a bit of boredom, but I didn't see them anywhere.

When it got close to time to go on, I headed into the gym and went backstage and saw Haruhi watching the other bands through the curtain.

"Hey."

She jumped back quickly.

"Don't do that?!"

"What? Say 'hey?'"

"You know what I mean. Anyway, go ahead and start getting ready, we go in 15 minutes."

Everyone else showed up within minutes and getting their stuff out as well.

Of course, Haruhi being Haruhi, she got us all costumes.

Koizumi got an exact copy of the costume he had worn at the play his class did last year, Nagato was already in the witch costume, Mikuru got the costume we'd gotten at the cosplay cafe, Tsuruya and Haruhi split up the bunny girl outfits, and I got some odd costume from the depths of anime hell that made me look like freakin' Tuxedo Mask!

Ah, well, it's not that bad. At least it fits.

We all did our individual tuning and when the last band walked off, we headed up.

* *

Haruhi had explained that we only had enough time for three songs, and we'd decided that the old=fashioned way. Toothpicks.

Me, Haruhi, and Tsuruya had gotten the pleasure of a turn at the mic, so I was pretty happy about that.

Tsuruya had proved herself to be quite a whiz at the violin. Everyone knew I could play and sing pretty well, and Haruhi was good at everything she did.

Since this is Haruhi, she went first and stepped up to the stage mic.

She nodded our ways and we got ready.

Mikuru started with a slow techno beat, then me, Nagato, and Haruhi started playing. Haaruhi took a deep breath and started singing.

"Itte mita dake na no ni

Katachi ni natta kibou Sonna no wo maniukete Mou kimi wa baka ne... baka ne! Choushi yoku wagamama wo Kasanete chotto hansei Hanyai ni ayamaranai yo Style, winding road Tsuranuita saki nite Moshi kimi ga tonari ni iru to shitara Someday I'll say "word of thanks" Me wo mita mama de Doko fuku kaze to sugu warau kedo maybe come, maybe come maybe come... tomorrow? Sono hi sora wa kitto aoi Hottoite hoshikunai Junban ga chotto chigau Sasshite yo tomarenai Atashi no porishii na no yo Tonde kita ishi ni made Ikari wo motte shimau Zettai ni makenai kara ne Long, winding road Ki ga tsuita toki ni wa Mou daremo inai to omotte mita Somebody else no more you Isoide kureba Yurushite ageru konkai dake wa Pick up them, pick up them pick up them... 'cause need all! Soshite kimi ga tabun boyaku Someday I'll say "word of thanks" Me wo mita mama de Doko fuku kaze to sugu okoru kamo Somebody else no more you Isoide kureba Yurushite ageru demo okoru wa yo maybe come, maybe come maybe come... tomorrow? Sono hi sora wa kitto aoi."

After we stopped playing and the crowd quieted down, Haruhi introduced us.

"We are the SOS Brigade. On drums, vice-president, Itsuki Koizumi!"

Koizumi pounded on his drums to show he was there.

"On bass, Literature Club president and 3rd-in-command, Yuki Nagato!"

I'm surprised Haruhi actually remembered Nagato was part of the Literature Club.

Nagato gave a simple nod toward the crowd.

"On keyboard, club mascot, Mikuru Asahina!"

Mikuru played a few slides.

"On violin, we have club treasurer, * feedback * Tsuruya!"

Tsuruya played a few notes. Haruhi moved the mic to prevent anymore feedback.

"On back-up guitar, club co-founder * mic feedback * but you all know him better as Kyon!"

God I hate that nickname. Wait, club co-founder?

"And me, the Brigade leader, Haruhi Suzumiya!"

After she was done, the crowd applauded.

"Okay,okay, we've only got enough time for two more songs, but after we're done, our member-in-training Shinichi Yamoda will be waiting outside with burnt CD's to buy. Now without further adeau, here's Tsuruya!"

The crowd cheered as Tsuruya took her place. She put her bow to the strings and started playing a sprite, lively tune that's been stuck in my head since first hearing it.

"**Y**aru ki sono ki daisuki

horahora chanto asobun da honki youki hamigaki ma, dounika naru! ii janai ka ashita no koto tekito- kangaete nonbiri aruku gogo wa nobi akubi ano ko wa doko daro trouble yonderu kai? sora ga mabushii ima wo Wai Wai Wai ajiwau no sa yaru ki sono ki daisuki horahora chanto asobun da teki wa shonbori kibun ya, sare sare sare iranai yo nayami itami yashinomi gokugoku nonde dashichatta honki youki hamigaki yo, tanoshii koto daikangei! tooku nagame kokoro wo tabashitara jiyuu dayo na tonbi to onigokko minna ga juubun tanoshiku yareru nara monku iu na yo dakara Hi Hi Hi makikomareyou ano ki sono ki nan no ki? sukusuku Big noborou ka mikata nanda itsudemo mo, koi koi koi do-n to catch hagemi umami otsumami haihai motto atsumatte uwaki inki donbiki ja, sugu suteru sa daishouri! ano ko wa doko daro trouble yonderu kai? sora ga mabushii ima wo Wai Wai Wai ajiwau no sa yaru ki sono ki daisuki horahora chanto asobun da teki wa shonbori kibun ya, seishun niwa tsuki mon sa nayami itami yashinomi gokugoku nonde dashichatta honki youki hamigaki ma, dounika naru! ii janai ka ma, seishun dashi! ii janai ka."

You could really tell that she was having a blast with this song.

She walked around stage twirling her bow with a smile so big her fang seemed bigger than usual.

When the sound was over, she out of breath and I took my spot.

"Sorry, but this'll be the last song. Okay, guys, 'Invisible Rain.'"

I started to play the nice slow melody this song was made of. This was the song I had played back at the castle and had been working on since, but Haruhi mustn't have noticed.

"I was searching Searching through the clouds I was looking Looking for what I've found I was waning Waning in this lonely desert And I just want I just want you to know You came like an invisible rain And suddenly, I'm drowning You came like an invisible rain And now I need you to know You have You've saved me I left I left without a compass (But you were there) And I walked Walked to the end of time (And you were there) And I saw I saw what I really wanted And I can't I just can't believe (It was ) You came like an invisible rain And suddenly, I'm drowning You came like an invisible rain And now I want you to see To see the real me I was gone, I was gone, I was gone (You were there) I was gone, I was gone, I was gone (You were there) I was gone, I was gone, I was gone But then you came like an invisible rain And suddenly I'm drowning You came like an invisible rain And suddenly I'm drowning You came like an invisible rain And now I see You reaching (Out to me) (Out to me) You were always reaching (Out to me) (Out to me)"

When the last of the music faded, the crowd erupted.

We went backstage and got back into out normal clothes and headed into the halls.

The CD stand had an enormous line, so Haruhi told me, Koizumi and Nagato to stay behind and help.

Although Haruhi promised she wouldn't do anything anymore, leaving Mikuru with Haruhi makes me feel uneasy. Oh well, Tsuruya's there too.

After a half-hour of working at the stand, we sold out of the CD's we'd made and put everything up. We brought everything back up to the clubroom just as Haruhi was leaving.

"Be sure to lock up!" She called as she walked past us.

It was getting pretty late and everyone started to leave. By the time I finished putting up the rest of the stuff, it was just me and Nagato left in the room.

The moment I closed the supply closet, Nagato closed her book.

With that, I started packing up my stuff. I grabbed my guitar and headed to the door.

Something felt off though.

Nagato hadn't moved yet.

I turned to her and saw she was staring at me with those eyes of liquid helium.

"Did you need something?"

"There is a matter I wish to discuss with you."

"Okay, shoot."

She stared at me for a few moments.

"In private."

"Oh, okay."

I knew that by 'in private' she meant at her place.

She got her stuff together and I locked the door behind me.

* *

When we got to her apartment, it was the same basic routine it was every time I came here,silence the entire time, with the occasional glance from her to make sure I was still following.

When we got to her door, she went in and turned on the lights.

I did notice something new.

She had a picture frame on her shelf.

In it was a picture from that time at the carnival.

It made me smile a bit to know that she's still herself, but shows more.

I sat down at the same table as always while Nagato got some tea.

She came back and poured a couple glasses and sat quietly, just like the first time I had been here.

"So, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Actually, it is more of a thank you."

"Really? For what?"

"You were witness to my upgrade, and I had explained what the details of it were. It has been a difficult time of transition, and I wanted to thank you."

She then smiled at me.

Not a big one, but a Nagato smile.

Immediately a picture flashed in my head.

It was of the other Nagato.

The shy Literature club member who had nothing to do with the Data Integrated Whatever or Haruhi Suzumiya.

The one who had cried as she tugged at my shirt, begging me not to leave.

This was the same smile I had seen there.

The smile that I had....

Wait, what?

Oh, crap.

"Um, sorry, Nagato, I forgot something. I need to go."

For a moment, I saw a hurt look in her eyes.

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm really sorry. It's just really important."

"Okay. I understand. I...I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow then."

"Yeah. Later Nagato."

I closed the door behind me and headed towards home as fast as possible.

* *

When I got home, I ignored my sister's attempts at throwing Shamisen at me and headed up the stairs into my guitar room.

I took out my guitar and started playing.

I had a lot of things to think about.

* *

After a few hours, all the jumbled thoughts in my head came out straight.

I had done a lot of analysis.

From everything that has happened, to the other world, to the mountain incident, to the Incident, to now, I came to a shocking revelation about myself.

I have a crush on Yuki Nagato.

…

Well, this can't possibly end well.

**End of Episode 10**

**Author's Note:**Yes, I realize that there is an extremely large gap between September and December, but honestly, I can't think of anything to happen for that time frame, so I'll just leave it like this, and if I come up with anything, look for the Extra Stories. Til then. Ja Ne~


	19. Episode 24

**Author's Note:** I will be using Yuki's POV again in situations where Kyon could not be there because of...certain circumstances that I can't reveal at this point, now enjoy the chapter! Oh, and Kyon will be referring to Yuki by her name from now on.....YAY! So, welcome to the Christmas episode!

**Ownership of this series was on my Christmas list, but I didn't get that.**

*** ***

**Season 2- Episode 12  
**

**Ice Cream, Presents, and ...**

I've had a very good feeling all day. I can't explain what it is, but you've probably experienced it as well. It's that feeling you get that's a mixture of excitement and and sadness you get on Christmas day.

That morning, my sister woke me up with the usual pounding and yelling in my face that she uses every day, and pulled me into the living room, me still half-asleep, with my mom there having the very same expression telling me she'd been woken up as well. My sister let go and I plopped onto the couch, while she, like all kids on Christmas, began tearing open her presents.

After everything was passed out and opened, I went back to my room and started getting dressed, because like always, Haruhi had said we'd be meeting today of all days.

* *

After I got dressed, my new phone began to buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw Yuki's number.

"Moshi-moshi. Merry Christmas, Yuki-chan."

"Merry Christmas, Kyon. Haruhi will be arriving at the station in exactly 15 minutes. Me and Koizumi are already here."

"'kay, be there in a minute. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up, got my shoes on, unlocked my bike, and started pedaling.

* *

With the slick roads from last nights snow, it took a few minutes longer than usual.

When I got there, Yuki, Koizumi, Tsuruya and Mikuru were inside the cafe already. I put up my bike and went inside.

I said my usual greetings and took a seat next to Yuki.

We talked a while before Haruhi showed up. Shinichi walked through the doors a few seconds later.

"Late! Penalty!"

I get a small flash of deja vu of the many times she'd said that to me. I can't help but wonder if Shinichi has taken my place as Haruhi's bitch.

Wait, did I just insult myself? Never mind.

* *

He was all too enthusiastic to pay for everyone since this was the first time he'd been on these trips.

It was the usual deal, eat, drink, then draw straws for searches.

It was me and Yuki again, Koizumi and Mikuru, and Haruhi with Tsuruya and Shinichi.

We split up and we got the North-west sector of the city.

* *

Since Haruhi and the others weren't around, me and Yuki could finally act like a couple. The reason for this, was because, A. If Koizumi knew, he'd tell Haruhi, or try to break us up, B. Same with Shinichi, except for the break up part, C. Tsuruya and Mikuru can't keep secrets at all, and D. If Haruhi knew....well, it's best not to think of what would if she knew. Let's just say, it'd probably end with her recreating the world. 99.78% chance according to Yuki. So, yeah. It's best that doesn't happen.

So while at school and meetings, it was the usual routine, us still doing the same things, me calling her by her formal name, nothing that would put any suspicion on us from even Koizumi, and on some days after school and weekends, we met at the library and went from there to either the cafe or to see a movie.

* *

Today, we just walked around. Yuki had brought a camera today for some reason and took pictures every now and then.

"Um, Kyon."

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking, do you think we could turn this into a date?"

"Yeah, sure why not? Is there anything you wanted to do?"

"I heard that there was a sale at a book store not far from here."

"'kay, let's go."

We got to the book store, but it wasn't open yet. This made Yuki a bit sad. We sat at a bench & I saw an ice cream stand nearby and thought it might cheer her up.

"Hey, Yuki?"

"Yes?"

"You wanna get some ice cream?"

"Hmm, I don't think I've ever had ice cream."

"Never had ice cream? Okay, you're definitely getting some. Stay here."

It was a tad expensive, but I don't mind paying if it's Yuki. I came back with two ice creams, one vanilla the other sherbet. I hand it to her and she just stares at it.

"Is anything wrong with it?"

"No. But, what does it taste like?"

"Try it."

She takes a small lick of it and a small smile forms on her lips.

"What do you think?"

"It's like...eating snow."

"Is that good?"

She nods and keeps licking.

I finish mine off in a few minutes, but she's savoring it. I notice she has a bit on her nose. She sees I'm looking at her.

"What?"

I reach over and take it off her nose, show it to her, and eat it.

She's blushing that small blush of hers that made her even cuter than usual.

We both lean in and kiss.

During it, I feel someone walk up, but brush it off.

When we pull apart, I hear someone.

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

Oh. Crap. Koizumi and Mikuru were standing right there.

Koizumi had his usual smile and Mikuru was blushing a bit.

"Well, what would you two be doing?"

Crap.

"I wonder what Suzumiya-san would think of this."

Double crap.

"How very against plans."

Dear god, Haruhi is going to kill me.

"Getting ice cream when you should be looking for the paranormal."

"Please don't tell-wait, what?"

"Getting ice cream. That is what you were doing, right?"

I look at Yuki and her entire face was beet red.

"Um, yeah. Ice cream. That's it."

"Well, then. Asahina-san, I think we should leave these two to their....ice cream."

He then walked away, Mikuru following a bit slowly.

I thought I'd seen a hurt look in her eyes, but I guess I must have imagined it.

* *

It was very awkward after that. When we got back to the cafe, we didn't make eye contact with either Koizumi or Mikuru, who was also trying to avoid eye contact.

Yuki explained the camera. She said she had been taking pictures of 'interesting areas' around town.

"Brilliant!"

Of coarse.

"Why didn't I think of it before?! We could easily see something, but it could be gone by the time we came back! This way, we could see something, and have irrefutable evidence that it exists! No one could think otherwise!"

Unless they've heard of Photoshop.

"Quiet you! From now on, all members will carry cameras at all times to record any evidence they may stumble upon!"

"Ooh, Suzumiya-sama, that is a brilliant idea!"

"Of course it is! I came up with it!"

Actually, it was Yuki's idea.

"Details, details. Anyway, I guess we'll need to leave early to get these developed. Okay everyone, remember, the party will be at my house, so once your ready, head over with your gifts. Now, I've gotta get to a printer. Dismissed!"

She slammed down her cup and darted out of the place. Completely forgetting the check.

* *

I walked Yuki home and went home.

I pulled the presents out of my closet, grabbed my guitar, and headed next door. At least I wouldn't have to haul all this stuff over town.

I set my guitar down and knocked

"Coming."

Haruhi opened the door.

"You took longer than I thought you would."

Yes, Haruhi, good to see you too.

"Come on."

She pulled me in the door.

"My parents are out tonight. Go put those over there."

She pointed at a small pile of gifts a table. I put them down and put my guitar against a wall.

"You gonna play?"

"Yeah, not til after gifts though."

"Okay. They should be here in a few minutes."

Haruhi had laid out some cookies and soda, so I got some of that while I waited.

Koizumi showed up a few minutes later, gifts in hand. He had the same smile as ever. I wonder if his face is frozen like that?

Mikuru and Tsuruya showed up together with their gifts. Mikuru was still avoiding eye contact with me.

Yuki came next, holding her presents in a style you would see in a cartoon. All of them piled up, except for a few openings where she could see. She placed them down and took a seat by the window. It had started snowing.

Shinichi showed up later, covered in snow with a thick coat on. He put down his presents, took it off and sat by the fireplace trying to warm up.

"Okay, now that everyone's here, let's start!"

Tsuruya passed hers out first. Me, Koizumi, and Shinichi got watches, and the girls got various items of jewelry. Nice, but sort of an empty gesture. Like something you get when you don't really care what the person thinks of it.

Mikuru had fairly small gifts. When we opened them, they were all drawings of us. When had she had the time to draw these? Mine was of me just staring off into space, Koizumi's was him sitting at the table with the card game out, Shinichi's was of him behind the computer, Yuki got one of her with her earphones on, reading a book, Tsuruya got one of her laughing like she does, and Haruhi's was one of her dramatic poses.

Shinichi got everyone miscellaneous items which earned a "Penalty!" from Haruhi.

Yuki got everyone books. She explained them to everyone, and the main characters of each book matched the person very well.

I got everyone gifts based on what they could play. I got Koizumi new sticks, Tsuruya a new bow, Mikuru a new keyboard, and Haruhi and Yuki new picks.

Haruhi handed out her small gifts. Inside were armbands, similar to hers, with our individual titles on them. I thought this was actually kind of a nice gesture from her.

As the night bore on, we told stories, talked, and I got out my guitar and started playing Christmas songs. I was really nice and gave off a nice, warm atmosphere.

* *

"Hey, Kyon?"

I look up and see Haruhi.

"Yeah?"

"I had one other present for you, but it was too big to get out of my closet. Could you help me get it?"

"Uh, sure."

I put my guitar down and walk up with her to her room.

I get into her doorway and see something odd. She doesn't have a closet.

"Hey, Haruhi, I thought you said-"

"Look up."

I do and see a small sprig hanging from the ceiling.

"Haruhi, what's that?"

"Mistletoe."

"Why do you-?"

I was cut off.

Haruhi kissed me and pulled me into her room, shutting the door behind her.

Normally, I would pull her off of me, but I was so shocked, I didn't have any strength.

She threw me onto her bed and kept kissing me.

I tried to push her off, but she was stronger than me, and it was like trying to move a mountain.

I then heard something I'll never forget.

"Kyon."

That was neither me or Haruhi, and she lost focus. I immediately pushed her off of me.

"Kyon."

Yuki was standing there, a shocked look on her face and tears rolling down her face.

"Yuki, it isn't what it looks like."

"Yes it is, Kyon," Haruhi said, "it's exactly what it looks like, Yuki. He's mine."

Yuki ran from the doorway. I could hear the door slam close below.

Anger boiled inside me.

"You see, she wouldn't even listen to you. She doesn't deserve you."

"What. The. HELL! HARUHI!"

She looked taken aback by this.

"Why would you do that?!"

"Because you shouldn't be with her. You should be with me."

"What?!"

"Koizumi told me everything."

I'll deal with him later.

"Why would you choose her instead of me?!"

"What?"

"Look at me. I'm smart, athletic, beautiful, everything a guy wants. Look at her, she's,she's,she's a creepy antisocial bookworm who never speaks!"

SMACK!!!

She looks like the first time I'd slapped her, hurt, confused, and angry.

"Don't you ever talk about my girlfriend like that again! Sure, she's quiet, and she reads a lot, but so what?! At least she's not a bitch like you!"

She looked on the verge of tears.

"Oh suck it up! Yuki's the only one who deserves to cry. You've never lost anything in your whole life! You have two parents who love you, two suck-ups who'd light themselves on fire if you told them to, and the only reason you don't see this, is because you're so pigheaded! Yuki doesn't even have a family! She's got me and that's it, and what you just did, you just made her doubt the only person she has trust in. Now, I've got to go fix what you broke."

I ran out of that room.

"What did you do?" Koizumi said, smile gone.

WHACK!!!

The punch sends Koizumi into the wall.

I run out the door.

"Yuki!"

I hear her sobbing by the hedges.

I walk over to her.

"Yuki."

"Don't, take a step closer."

I stop.

"Yuki, I didn't-"

"But you did! I saw you! You were kissing her."

"No, Yuki, let me explain-"

"No! I don't want to hear it!"

Now she was full on screaming at me. I'd never heard her scream before.

"I trusted you! And you threw that away. I never should have trusted you. All that relationships lead to is hurt. Nothing else. Everything between that is a lie. It only leads to-"

She stopped. But for a reason. I had her close against me.

"I had no say in what happened. Haruhi tricked me. I would never do that to you."

"But-"

"No. Everything you saw up there, happened because Haruhi made it happen. I would never betray your trust."

She stayed quiet for a long time, but I just held her as she cried, thinking if I let loose a little, she would never trust me again.

"Kyon?"

"Yes?"

She looks at me with those liquid helium eyes.

"I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions. I should have listened to you."

"You're not mad?"

She shook her head.

"Not at you."

She gets up and so do I.

"Do you want to go back inside?"

"No. I just want to go home."

"Okay, let's go."

I walked her home as the snow fell.

* *

After dropping her off and making sure she was okay, I went back to Haruhi's and got my stuff, not even looking at her.

Later that night, I got a call from Koizumi.

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Really? I was just calling to complement you on your swing. You knocked out a few teeth."

"What's with you? I'd expect you to sound exhausted from fighting Celestials all night."

"No need. Suzumiya-san hasn't created any Closed Spaces."

What?

"It's true. I was surprised as well. But no Closed Spaces have popped up."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I know, this matter is quite confusing. But, so are women, so I guess as long as nothing happens, everything is well. Oh, and Kyon?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever punch me again, I will not hesitate to react. Goodbye."

He hung up.

Did I just get threatened by Koizumi?

At that moment, Yuki called me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just...odd."

"How so?"

"Haruhi just came to my apartment."

"What? Why?"

"Kyon, she apologized for trying to steal you from me."

Well.....

"Is that...good?"

"I'm not sure. But I believe she will not try anything again."

"Well, that's a relief."

"Kyon?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I trust you."

She hanged up.

I fell into my bed, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly relieved and exhausted.

**End of Episode 12  
**

**Author's Note:** For all of those who read these things, I know I made Haruhi a little bit more bitchy and overbearing than she actually is, but this is what I think would happen if this was real. That or something along the same lines that didn't involve Kyon punching or slapping anybody. But that would be boring. I'm really addicted to drama. Ja ne~


	20. Episode 21

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay, I've been trying to write a few new chapters for a while and have had some writer's block. Anyway, on with the show! For the jokes' sake, just pretend the ellipses are when they are reading cue-cards. Oh, and everyone speaks just like they did last time How bad actors they are.

* *

**Season 2-Episode 9**

**Episode 01**

**The Return of Yuki Nagato**

* *

Our story begins on a bright, sunny day, that for some reason, feels slightly off.

We cut to a scene of a girl standing on a roof in a witch's costume.

This, of course, is the evil alien witch Yuki Nagato.

Now, for those of you wondering who this person is, you haven't been paying attention. If you're wondering why she's standing on a rooftop, cut to next scene.

Next scene.

We now see two people walking down the road, hand-in-hand staring into each other's eyes.

These two people are not ordinary humans however. The girl on the left is Mikuru Asahina. A battle waitress from the future, sent to the past to watch over and protect Itsuki Koizumi.

The boy to her right, is said person. He is actually a powerful ESPer whose full extent have yet to be shown.

"Oi, oi! Wait up!"

The person who just spoke, is one of Itsuki and Mikuru's closely trusted friends, Kyon-semp-I mean Kyon. What his real name is is of no importance to the story whatsoever, so it will be skipped.

Anyway, it seems that the three have just gotten of out school for the day and are walking as a group, as always. They talk about unimportant things such as the weather, sports, etc., when suddenly, Yuki Nagato jumps into their path from off-screen.

"...Stay where you are." she says in a soft monotone.

"...Not you again!" Itsuki says.

They all get into battle position while Kyon just stands there, scratching his head.

"...What...is...going on...here?" He says as he looks as if he's reading something.

"_Stop looking like you're reading, Kyon!." _someone whispers.

"_But I can't read what it says."_ he whispers back as he glares at someone off-screen.

"...I thought we defeated you...last time." Mikuru says.

"...You were incorrect...I have returned...to take Itsuki's ESPer powers once and for all." Nagato says.

"...You will...never...defeat us...Nagato.!" Itsuki says.

Initiate fight scene.

Mikuru transforms into her battle waitress costume as Koizumi gets into some sort of stance with his arms in front of him and Yuki pulls out her wand.

Yuki begins firing lightening bolts from her wand by waving it around.

Koizumi begins saying things you would expect from an ESPer to say on some early-morning anime.

Mikuru places her hand over her eye in a "V" shape and calls out "M-M-Mikuru Beam!"

The camera shakes a bit as Mikuru stands there dumbfounded.

"Not again." Kyon says before Nagato tackles Mikuru.

"Hey, hey! Stop doing that! Must this happen every time!" Suzumiya-sa- I mean the director says as she walks on-screen and starts waving around her director's mic.

Next scene.

We cut to a later scene where Itsuki, Mikuru, and Kyon are sitting at a local cafe.

What happened to Yuki, and what the battles' outcome was, we'll never know.

It seems they are explaining to Kyon what had just happened.

"You see Kyon, me and Mikuru are not average humans." Itsuki says.

"...Yes, in fact, I am a time-traveling battle waitress." Mikuru says.

"..Aah." Kyon says.

"...Yes, and I am an esper." Itsuki says.

"...Hmm." Kyon says.

"And the person you saw earlier, was an evil alien witch."

"Wait, why is she evil?" Kyon asks.

"_Stick to the script, Kyon!"_

"_Fine."_

"Ah." Kyon says.

"Yes...it is important for you....not to come in contact with her....lest she takes control of your mind." Itsuki says.

"Wait, why can she control minds?"

"_I said, stick to the script!"_

"_But it's a good question!" Kyon replies._

"_I have to agree with him, why can I control minds?" _Yuki says as she walks on-screen.

"_See? It doesn't make sense."_

"_Rrrgh."_

We cut to the camera being shoved down, Kyon crying out his pain, and then the camera being pulled up again with Kyon rubbing the back of his head, Yuki is gone, and a few items are knocked over.

"I mean, ahh." Kyon says.

Next scene.

Kyon is walking home not really paying attention to anything in particular, when Yuki jumps from off-screen.

"...I know you...you're that evil alien...they told me...about." Kyon says.

"Yes...and now...you are my...mindslave." Yuki says as she waves her wand hypnotically.

"Aaaaahhh." Kyon half-screams,half-talks as he falls to the ground.

Yuki picks him up by his necktie and begins dragging him behind her.

"_That's choking me." Kyon says._

"_Sorry." Yuki says as she lets go._

"_It's cool. C'mon before Haruhi start yelling again."_

They quickly get off-screen.

Next scene.

It's the next day and we see Itsuki and Mikuru at school.

Mikuru is holding a note.

It says, "Come to the rooftop so we can settle this."

They are walking to the rooftop now. They push open the door, light floods in, and we are treated to a wonderful commercial made by Suzumiya-sama and us at the SOS Brigade which we shall skip due to time restraints.

Now back to the movie.

Mikuru and Itsuki step out on the roof and we see Yuki standing with her feline familiar perched on her shoulder.

"...We are here." Mikuru says.

"Yes...you are."

"...Why did you....bring us here?" Itsuki asks.

"...I have devised a plan...to take your ESPer power from you" Yuki says.

She nods in the direction of the stair way, and Kyon steps out, and walks over to Yuki.

"Kyon, no!" Mikuru says.

"Yes...I have taken control of his mind." Yuki says.

"What are you...going to do to him?" Itsuki asks.

"I am going to push him off of this building and absorb your powers from the reaction." Yuki says.

"_Wait, I'm not really going to fall, right?" Kyon asks._

"_No, you won't fall, right?" Yuki asks to someone off-screen._

A second passes.

"_Okay. Don't push too hard though." _Kyon says as he turns around.

"Now...your friend dies." Yuki says as she shoves Kyon's back.

The camera skips and Kyon's gone.

"No!" Itsuki says.

His powers flare up and he begins glowing.

Yuki glows with same light.

Itsuki stops.

"Darn...my powers are...failing." He says.

"Let me...try." Mikuru says. "M-M-Mikuru Mega Beam!"

She says this with both her hands over her eyes in "V" shapes.

The beams are knocked away by her wand.

"Let's try together." Itsuki says.

They both fire off their respective powers.

Yuki holds up her wand, but it flies away.

Mikuru then takes out a large bazooka-like weapon.

"...Fire!" She says as she pulls the trigger.

A pellet is fired from the bazooka and hits Yuki.

She is then flung into the sky.

"Not...again." She cries in her monotone.

They both hurry over to the ledge. The camera looks over and shows Kyon standing on the ground below, not looking worse-for-wear.

"...Yo." He says.

Both Mikuru and Itsuki get looks that could be interpreted as relief and hurry down the stairs.

Next scene.

Kyon, Mikuru, and Itsuki are again at the nearby cafe.

"...Do you think she's...gone for good this time?" Mikuru asks.

"Who knows. But if she does....we ...will be ready." Itsuki says.

The shot freezes and the credits roll.

"The preceding events were a work of fiction, they weren't real. Any resemblance between actual people and the characters of this movie are all in your head. If you wish to see the previous movie, The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina, Episode 01 will be on sale on DVD this Spring. Thank you."

* *

"That was awesome!"

You can probably guess who said this.

"You did a really good job with this Shinichi!"

"Thank you Suzumiya-sama! I did my best with editing and narrating!"

"Well I'm impressed! You earn 700 points for this!"

Again with the points? What are these things for anyway?

"Oh thank you Suzumiya-sama! I will continue to work my hardest!"

Suck-up.

"Everybody else, you were great! Except you Kyon. You talked too much out of character."

So I get scolded for posing legitimate questions? Yare yare.

"But come on! We need to get some rest! I want to see you all bright and early tomorrow! Especially you Kyon!"

Fine, fine. I don't even care anymore.

**End of Episode 9**

* *

**Author's Note:** So~, how'd ya like it~? I thought I needed to put one of these in because so very few writers actually do. Oh, and Shinichi was the narrator for the movie if ya didn't know. I may put up bloopers later. I've thought of a ton of em. Most of them consist of Kyon getting hurt. Oh well. Ja ne~


	21. Omake 2

**Author's Note:** Okay, since these are bloopers from the entire fanfic, they'll be from the third person and Kyon's perspective randomly. Also, I haven't said this in a while.

I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or the awesome movie coming out this February, The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya. The movie has nothing to do with this chapter but still, watch it when it's subbed!

And we roll on.

* *

**Omake 2**

**The Bloopers of Haruhi Suzumiya**

* *

**Episode 1, Scene 1, Take 1**

"Action!"

Kyon is walking up the hill, musing to himself and sometimes talking out loud, when Taniguchi comes up from behind him.

"Yo,Kyon!"

And delivers a heavy punch instead.

Kyon falls forward, right into the other camera.

Taniguchi just stands there while the camera crew check on Kyon.

"Oops."

**Scene 6, Take 1**

"Action!"

Kyon knocks on the door.

"Come in."

Kyon opens the door, and Yuki is standing there wearing the waitress outfit.

Kyon then bursts out laughing, along with just about everyone else.

She just stands there.

"What?"

**Scene 6, Take 2**

"Come in."

Kyon opens the door and Mikuru is in her frog costume holding a long meter stick with Yuki tied to a chair.

She stands there for a second.

"It's not what it looks like!"

"I'm not sure what it looks like."

A boom falls.

Kyon turns to the camera.

"I think that's enough."

**Scene 6, Take 5**

"Come in."

Kyon opens the door, sees everything is normal.

He walks in and is crushed by Koizumi who falls through the ceiling.

"And that's why the theory of relativity is absolutely bullsh-Where am I?"

"Sorry!"

The camera pans up and a large hole is in the ceiling.

"Um, I think we should just cut."

**Scene 9, Take 1**

"So I'm sorry Kyon, for everything."

She bows.

"Well, thank you Haruhi."

Kyon turns around.

"One more thing."

Kyon turns around, and is shot by Haruhi using a saw-off shotgun.

She then looks dead into the camera.

"That's why you should never get me angry."

**Episode 3, Scene 4, Take 1**

Kyon and Tsuruya are standing at the shooting gallery.

Kyon fires off his shots and gets nothing.

Tsuruya fires her shots and hits all of the targets.

"Yes!"

"You win the grand prize!"

The vender hands Tsuruya a large cat....thing.

"Awesomes!"

She grabs it. It then looks dead at Kyon.

"If you ever eat a grapefruit, be sure to throw it at someone first, that makes the peel easier to remove and will also cure cancer."

Giant WTF?! Moment.

Kyon then walks offstage with his hands up.

"That's it, I'm done. That's just way to weird for me."

The giant cat...thing then floats away.

With Tsuruya in tow.

…..

"Shouldn't someone do something?"

**Scene 14, Take 1**

It was then I saw Nagato.

She was playing DDR.

With the fastest song.

On Guru mode.

I could barely see her move.

I walked over and this continued for about 30 minutes.

She then missed a note and lost.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

And stood there.

I could feel the anger in her slowly rise and I backed away for precaution.

I saw Mikuru and Koizumi hiding behind me, with Mikuru crying.

Umm.....this isn't going to end well.

Then it happened.

"Motherf**ker."

She then walked away.

We stood there for an eternity until Haruhi came and got us.

For the rest of my life, I will never experience that much fear ever again.

**Episode 5, Scene 11, Take 1**

I walked over the the table with my cereal and ate.

I then felt a tap on the shoulder.

I turned around and saw Nagato.

"Yeah?"

"..."

She handed me a few pictures.

"...Thank you."

She had a slight blush on her face.

Ooookaaayyy.

I took one look at the pictures and knew immediately why.

Sometime during the night, someone had taken a picture of well........let your imagination do the work, of me and Nagato.

I could feel myself becoming red as well.

These will never see the light of day again.

I walked over to the fireplace and threw them in.

I turned around and saw Koizumi staring at me with that smile of his.

"Say. One. Word."

He then turned around.

**Episode 7, Scene 5, Take 1**

Kyon is tailing Sasaki and has the camera is front of him.

The boom mic bobs in and out of frame.

"Oi, keep that thing still."

It disappears for a few seconds but then bobs back and forth again.

"Hey, I said-"

He's then hit with the boom. Hard. In the face.

"Why you!"

He then gets off-screen, we hear a few fighting noises.

"Keep rolling."

"But-"

"Keep! Rolling!"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Tanigawa!"

Kyon then walks back onscreen with a black eye and a few missing teeth and straightens out his jacket.

He continues walking.

**Episode 9, Scene 7, Take 1**

"Now, Kyon. Shoot her."

"Hell yeah! Take this you abusive bitch!"

Kyon fires off a few shots, walks over to her body, then fires a round into her skull.

He wants back, panting.

"So, good enough for ya?"

"Umm...I was joking."

".....Oh. Well, the universe is still here, so.....what does that mean?"

"Who cares, want to get some ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Who else?!"

Pretty much everyone.

"Alright!"

They all leave.

Leaving Yuki, Mikuru, and Koizumi chained to the wall.

"Hey! Wait! I like ice cream!" Koizumi shouts as the lights turn off.

"I'm so going to burn them when they come back."

**Episode 11, Scene 5, Take 1**

"Anyway, his name is-"

Bird caws. Shotgun fire. The bird's gone, showing Haruhi with her shotgun.

"Damn birds always interrupting my rants. Anyway, his name is-"

**Episode 12, Scene 1, Take 1**

Haruhi is walking down the street with her loyal servants muttering to herself.

"Damn cut-offs always interrupting my rants."

**Scene 2, Take 1**

"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do."

Haruhi points at Kyon.

"Kyon! Strip!"

"What?!"

"You heard me!"

"No, Haruhi. There's no way in hell that's happening."

"Koizumi! Yuki! Help me."

"With pleasure." Koizumi says with his rape smile on.

Yuki just slowly walks toward him with a small smile on her face that's just undeniably creepy.

"How will this help in anyway?" Kyon asked.

"Who said anything about that?" Haruhi said.

The camera shuts off and the last thing we hear is Kyon screaming.

(Yes....Haruhi, Koizumi, and Yuki....all rape Kyon...in front of Mikuru......I'm dead inside.)

**Episode 19, Scene 5, Take 1**

After I finished playing, I did a classic.

Smashing the guitar against the floor over and over again.

In retrospect, that wasn't a very good idea.

But, it'd make a nice story, no?

Actually, my whole life would be a pretty good book.

Hmm.....

**Episode 21, Scene 2, Take 24**

Kyon was running down the street trying to catch up to Koizumi and Mikuru when he tripped and fell.

Everyone stopped as he got up.

"I'm good!"

He then walked back up the hill muttering something about banana peels and and this being the thirteenth time today this has happened.

(They can't all be elaborate.)

**Scene 17, Take 1**

"You're not really gonna push me off right?"

"Of course not."

"Okay then."

Yuki nudges Kyon.

"Wow, Nagato, too hard, too hard!"

Kyon then falls over the side.

People run over along with the camera.

"Someone call an ambulance!"

Filming was delayed for a month after that.

(Heh heh.)

**End of Omake 2**

* *

**Author's Note:** I'd say I did very well on this. Except for the whole......yeah. Anywho, the next few chapters will the filming of the movie, so....okay writing that scene (you know which one) made me feel very unclean so I'm going to go scrub my brain til I forget I ever thought of something so very.....horrifying. Ja ne~


	22. Episode 16

**Season 2 – Episode 4**

**The Filming Begins...**

* *

The day started with as usual. The climb up the hill its usual chore, the boredom of the classroom, Haruhi seemed to not be paying attention to anything really, and just stared out the window.

The only real excitement of the day started when I got to the clubroom.

* *

The moment the last bell rang, Haruhi had disappeared from the classroom and I began my everyday trek to the clubroom.

I took one step into the room and Haruhi was standing by the white board, with Mikuru writing on it. Koizumi was sitting at his usual seat, Tsuruya was standing next to a large pile of equipment, Shinichi seemed to be trying to strike up a conversation with Nagato, while she was just ignoring him, trying to read some sort of manga.

"Finally! You're late!"

I didn't think it really mattered anymore since you yourself haven't been coming lately.

"That doesn't matter! Anyway, you'd best be ready or else you'll delay the production time!"

Production time?

"Don't tell me you forgot! You've been doing that lately, you need to work on that more."

Among other things, apparently.

I took my usual seat and set my bag under the table and looked at the white board and what was written. There, written in large bold print, in both Haruhi's and Mikuru's handwriting, were the words "Movie Project Continued! Episode 01! The Return of Yuki Nagato!"

Oh yeah, how could I forget. The movie from last year that warped the fabric of reality. I think some other things happened, but I can't really remember. Oh, well, they probably aren't important.

Frankly, I thought you'd give up on the idea and move on to the next thing.

"Now, Kyon, why in the world would I do that? You don't give me nearly enough credit. No, we shall continue the SOS trilogy with all of our effort!"

SOS _trilogy_? You plan on making a third movie?

"Now then! Since everyone's here, let's assign roles!"

Haruhi gave Mikuru a sheet of paper and she began scribbling down all therein.

Ultra Director: Haruhi Suzumiya

Main Male Lead: Itsuki Koizumi

Main Female Lead: Mikuru Asahina

Main Villain: Yuki Nagato

Secondary Male Lead: Kyon

Prop work: Tsuruya

Cameraman/Grunt Work/Doing what I say: Shinichi Yamoda

Wait, I have to act this time?! Why can't Shinichi do it?! On the other hand, at least I won't have to carry everything this time. And I've been meaning to ask, what's the difference between a normal Director and an Ultra Director? We certainly aren't getting paid for this, is it an ego thing? 'Cause let me tell you, you've got a bigger ego than anyone I know-

"Kyon!"

I snap from my musings and see Haruhi in time to feel another rubber band snap in my face. OW!

"You were staring again."

God dammit.

"Back on topic! This is the order for the days of filming we have to prepare! There's only a few weeks until the Culture Festival, and we have other things planned as well!"

Other things? This can't end well.

* *

Haruhi had handed out a list of the days we were going to work on this thing and then dismissed us.

The rest of the week, instead of staying in the clubroom we walked around town, scouting for locations, but it ended up mostly using the school grounds and the hill leading to the school.

I know, pointless waste of time, but this is Haruhi.

* *

On Saturday, we all gathered at the station as usual. I got there last and wound up paying.

Haruhi ordered some crepe thing I can't pronounce, Mikuru ordered a salad, Nagato ordered an assortment of small cakes, and me, Koizumi, and Tsuruya ordered coffee.

We left and met Shinichi at the school.

"Ohayo, Suzumiya-sama!"

"Yeah, yeah. You got the camera?"

"Hai!"

He pulled a small camera from behind him that looked similar to the camera we'd used last year.

Wait, why do we need a new one when we already have the one from the last movie?

"Quiet! Let's start filming! To the roof!"

I can already tell I'm not going to like this.

* *

Nagato and Mikuru got into their costumes from the last movie which were hanging in the clubroom.

How Haruhi got the key for the school in the first place....I'd rather not think about that.

Koizumi and Mikuru were standing next to the doorway, Haruhi and Shinichi were behind them with Shinichi at the camera, while me and Nagato were standing on the ledge of the roof.

And I really wish I was behind that camera.

"Now Yuki," Haruhi said through her megaphone, "I need to it to look like you're pushing Kyon off the roof. Now, action!"

"Wait, I'm not really going to fall right?"

"No, you won't fall, right?"

Nagato looks toward Haruhi and she just nods.

"Okay, just don't push to hard though."

Tsuruya holds up a cue-card and Nagato reads it.

"Now...your friend dies."

She nudges me and I move dangerously close to the ledge.

"Whoa, Nagato, too hard, too hard!"

I feel the area under my feet disappear as she looks at me, then in the same horror I'm in, sees I'm falling.

"Kyon!" I hear a few people call.

Crap.

I'm going to die.

I'm 4 stories up and I'm going to die.

I see the ground below me.

It's slowly growing toward me.

Is this what people who jump see before they hit?

Wait, this isn't in my head. I'm actually falling much slower than I should be.

When I hit the ground, it felt much like tripping and landing on your face.

I was okay, but it still hurt.

I look up and see Nagato on the roof facing me and her mouth moving much like when she was using her bogus magic.

Did she just save me?

"Kyon! Are you okay?!"

I see Haruhi up there as well.

"Yeah, I'm good!"

"We're coming down!"

I take a seat on the ground because I was a tad bit dizzy.

I'm just glad I didn't die. I'll have to thank Nagato for that later when Haruhi wasn't around.

"Kyon!"

They had all gotten down to the bottom floor and found me asking the same questions you'd expect from people who just saw you fall off a building. Haruhi looked angry for some reason, Koizumi still had his smile, but I could see he was just barely maintaining it, Mikuru looked on the verge of tears, Shinichi and Tsuruya looked worried, and Nagato was standing there, looking as emotionless as she was a few months ago, with a look of guilt in her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Yuki! Why'd you do that?!"

Haruhi had decided to take her anger out on Nagato, and that left a weird knot in my stomach. She just stood there and took it like it was her punishment.

"Oi! Leave her alone, Haruhi. It was an accident. And besides, falling's a risk on roof scenes."

She harrumphed and walked away.

I guess this means we're dismissed. Everyone else walked off after making sure I was okay. Nagato still stood there. I don't know why, but I felt like she was about to cry.

"Hey, Nagato."

"..."

"Thanks for..ya know saving me."

She looked up at me and here expression returned to normal.

"I'm sorry for that."

"It's cool, it's cool. It was just an accident. Well, I'll see you tomorrow I guess."

"Okay."

I walk away, and when I'm far enough away, I turn back and she hadn't moved.

I hope she's okay.

**End of Episode 4**


	23. Extra 3

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long time since I last updated. I've been......lazy. But, it's snowing here and this popped into my head. Enjoy!

* *

**Extra 3**

**Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow...**

I woke up and could feel the chill in the air. I looked outside, and there was a good 5-7 inches of snow on the ground. My sister must have been up because I heard her shout "SNOW!!!!" from her room. By the time I got dressed, she was busy working on a snowman. Not having anything to do until later, I put on a coat and helped her.

After a while, we had a pretty decent snowman going. When we finished the body, we found some sticks for arms, and my sister somehow accumulated a bunch of random items. Two pieces of coal for the eyes, a button for the nose, and a pipe to go in its mouth. All that was missing was a hat and we'd be following it through town to a catchy music number.

Actually, if that really happened, I'd probably have to have a talk with Koizumi about that.

The snow began getting heavier and my mom called us in. We went back inside and got a cup of hot chocolate. After a while, I checked the news. It said that the snow was only going to get worse. Damn, there goes my date. I called Yuki up and told her I wasn't going to make it, she said that was probably be for the best.

My sister pulled out a game and insisted we play with her. It was Janga, which was not a game I'm very good at. So, naturally, I lost most of the rounds. Damn center block. We went through an assortment of games such as Backgammon, Mouse Trap, Parcheesi, we even found a thing of Monopoly, which is weird because I don't remember us ever having that game. Whatever.

The day went on and pretty soon, the sun was starting to set. I looked outside and the snow had almost reached the windows. My dad started a fire in the fireplace and turned on the TV while my mom passed out hot chocolate. When I saw this, I couldn't help but feel like I was in a Hallmark card. But in a good way.

I grabbed a cup and took a seat. All in all, this was a pretty good day.

**End**

* *

**Author's Note:** I mostly designed this chapter as a "A Day in the Rain" type thing, so feel free to extend each scene for a ridiculous amount of time, and you should think it's a very nice chapter. And not even a page long! And without dialogue. Til next time. Ja ne


End file.
